Episode 125: Is There A Seat At The Table For Me

Morgan & Mom · a series inside Mom2Mom Mentoring

An unscripted conversation between Misty Hughes and her daughter Morgan about the Rooted & Reaching retreat in Puerto Rico, the honest question Morgan asked about belonging at the table, and why real discovery happens in conversation. The transcript has been lightly edited for readability.

Link to Spotify

Transcript

Morgan: I don’t know if it’s gonna be, like, Jesus heavy and, like, if everything is going to be through the framework of that…

Misty: Hey, welcome to Mom2Mom Mentoring. I am Misty Hughes, and I am so glad you’re here. If you’re new here, I wanna tell you, you are at the right place. This is Mom2Mom Mentoring, but it’s season two, where I decided to do something new, something fresh, and I invited my adult daughter, Morgan, to sit with me as co-host.

We’re calling it Conversations with Morgan and Mom. These are conversations that we’ve been having over the phone for years. They’re unscripted, they’re always honest, and sometimes they’re pretty messy.

Last week we told you something that we’ve been dreaming about for a while. Puerto Rico. In January. Small, intimate, just seven women invited to sit around the table.

In the middle of our conversation about what this week will look like for these seven women, Morgan had a question, a real question, a hard question that neither of us had even considered before: whether there’s room around the table for her. We didn’t blow over it. We didn’t skip past it. We stayed right there in it, processing through it together, and landing on something that I think you’ll appreciate, too.

Because that’s the heart of this retreat. Honest questions asked out loud, explored together in community with two women that actually do this for a profession.

You’ll hear about the house on the beach, the pool, Morgan’s cooking, morning yoga, quiet time with Jesus, and a little rappelling. But mostly you’re going to hear about why this matters so much to both of us. Pull up a chair. We’re glad you’re here.

Morgan: I love travel, and I hate travel planning, and so I, um… it stresses me out. But I’m the best co-pilot ever. I’ve realized that all of the best trips are ones that other people have organized or planned or had a point of interest in going, and I’m just like, “Great, I’m along for the ride.”

And I’ll help research and prepare and everything like that. But I love getting to support and be along for a plan or a dream. And so Mom has been planning a retreat, a very small retreat, for a very small group of women in our alma mater of the restoration of our relationship, I would say, which is in Puerto Rico. And that’s a different podcast episode and story.

But Mom’s half Puerto Rican, I’m Puerto Rican, and we both went to Puerto Rico for the first time together, pretty fresh into the reconciliation stage of our relationship, and it was incredibly impactful and absolutely life-changing. And then we’ve gone back together with other people every year since. And so, this year… or in January…

Misty: We didn’t get back in 2026.

Morgan: Right. But this counts because it’s January. It’s close enough. We can roll it back.

Misty: I don’t start my year till February. I decided that a few years ago. Who says January’s the beginning?

Morgan: It’s too soon. Yeah. We’re still holding onto the holidays and the new year and everything like that. So Mom’s planned a small retreat, which she does often, you know, plan retreats and things, but this time it will be in Puerto Rico in January, with an emphasis on bringing women who are, whether they realize it or not, ready to step into a new season or a new chapter, and creating space to do that with purpose and intention, and communally.

So we were talking about this and I was like, “Oh my gosh, this sounds so fun and so cool. Can I come and cook?” So we’re gonna go together, and I’ll teach yoga to anyone who wants to in the mornings, to get our bodies started and begin the day with movement and meditation. Then I get to just do my favorite thing, which is feed people in a beautiful place with a pool on the beach.

Mom has built in some wonderful adventures and activities, and is creating this incredible space. You know more about it than I do, Mom, so I guess you should describe it.

Misty: I’ll put the link for the details of it in the show notes for women that want to see the space. It’s right on the beach, and it has a pool, and the pool looks out over the beach. There’s plenty of sleeping spaces and just room to breathe in the sun. We haven’t ever been to Puerto Rico in January, but I guess it is, like, the hot month. Not hot temperature-wise, but it is the time…

Morgan: Oh, like heavy tourist time?

Misty: It’s peak time.

Morgan: Oh, cool.

Misty: It is going to be beautiful.

Morgan: We’ll get our tans on for the year.

Misty: Who doesn’t want to escape the cold and the snow for just a moment and start that tan before anybody else, right? That’s worth it right there.

Morgan: We’re not trying to give someone a five-star resort experience. We wanna create this incredible and relaxing and intimate and authentic space for a few women to come and just exist and be so cared for and so rested, where nothing is needed from them and nothing is asked from them except to just be and rest and heal and know and love themselves.

And everything will be tailored to that outcome. But they get to do that through being in a home.

Misty: I do envision, around the table in the evenings, just like what we do when we’re in your home or in my home, just those deep conversations. The women that I envision coming feel like God is inviting them. They’re like, “I know that there is something I’m supposed to be stepping into. I have some thoughts or ideas.” Not “What do I want to do?” but “Who is the woman that I’m becoming in this next season of life?”

Morgan: Mm-hmm. Okay.

Misty: Some precursor before they get there is they will have to do the strengths assessment. And so the first day we’re just gonna talk about our strengths and what we discover about ourselves and who we are. We get to talk together collectively about who we’re created to be and what we see in ourselves and how that plays out, and where maybe somebody said, “Oh, you’re too much of that.” That’s one of the aspects of it. I want women to be able to come and confidently say, “This is who I am, and it’s really beautiful, and these are my strengths.”

Then I really do want us to work towards… and it will be a lot of time around the pool. They get to be reflective and meditative, but I do want to give them during the day things to ponder, things to think about. And then especially at night around the table, we can just talk more into those things. So there is some intentionality about the purpose of it.

Morgan: I think that’s in line with what I understood.

Misty: Yeah. And then there’s the rappelling that really says, “I can do hard things. I can do things that are outside of my comfort zone. But it does help to have someone guiding me and the support of others.” And those things are necessary, making that into this amazing experience.

Morgan: That all stacks up.

Misty: Okay. Okay.

Morgan: Do you think it will be okay if I, like…

Misty: If you don’t…

Morgan: Yeah, and I’m not, like, aligned with a lot of… I mean, I like the principle of these things. One of the most dynamic years of my life, I met with a coach, and we did some really great exercises where we sort of walked through doors, and you imagine, who are the people around you? What does the story look like? Who are you? What do you look like on the other side of it? And it was very much forward-focused rather than back-focused, because it wasn’t “What are you trying to get rid of or shake off?” It’s like, no, who are you becoming?

Misty: That’s exactly what we’re doing. Yeah.

Morgan: It was just like, oh, this is profound and wonderful.

I know I will plan to be working during the day and not necessarily doing the workshops, but I don’t know if I would be sitting at the table and having conversations with people too, or just cooking, which is totally fine if I’m kind of in the background of things. I’m just trying to envision if I did participate in these conversations around the table, or maybe that would just be better if I didn’t…

Misty: I think it’s necessary that you do. Because I think you see, and you’re curious in ways that draw people out, whether from a lens of Christianity or not. I think it’s very natural. You’re not threatening and you’re not pushing an agenda. And as long as you’re comfortable with it, right?

Morgan: To de-evangelize. Yeah.

Misty: As long as you’re comfortable with women talking about the lens that they look at life through, which you’ve been comfortable with, and given me space. And you’ll be comfortable if somebody’s like, “Oh, Morgan, can I pray for you?” You’ll be comfortable saying, “Yeah, no, I’m okay.”

Morgan: You can. I just don’t have to know about it.

Misty: I can’t imagine you not being there. I think that will be the richest part of the experience: what you and I collectively bring to the table, and what happens around the food and the conversation and the wine. So that’s my thought. It feels like just an extension and invitation, whether it’s our neighbors or your friends, you know?

Morgan: I just don’t know. I feel like when you and I talk, or even when we’re with your neighbors or friends, you’re kinda Jesus light. And in this setting, I don’t know if it’s gonna be, like, Jesus heavy, and if everything is going to be through the framework of that, which would then preclude me from being able to engage in some of those conversations, because I’m not participating in the same framework.

And so I guess I just don’t know. Is this gonna be, like, IHOP-level Jesus everything? Or is it like, “And then we do this exercise, and then you can invite Jesus into what does He think about…” So I guess I just feel uncertainty.

I haven’t been in a targeted Christian environment in a long time, intentionally. And so I feel like if I were to go to church, it would almost be like, “I’m just an observer here. I’m not a participant.” And that’s maybe how I feel here.

I think we can talk about these things. I think everyone can talk about these things without Jesus. But I know that that’s the objective for you, that we’re doing all of these things with the framework of Christianity. And so I guess as you’re describing this, I’m thinking in my mind, “Okay, how uncomfortable will this be for me, or for other people, too?” You know, if there’s one person who’s not bought in on the same…

It’s like if you’re at a Republican caucus and there’s a Democrat in the room, or vice versa. And not that it’s that polarizing. Or if you have a game night and are playing Dungeons & Dragons, and everyone’s into it except for one person, and that person is like, “Oh, that’s cool. I love that for you, and I’m here to help you cook.” Is that kind of detracting from the energy of the room, if everyone is there for one thing except for one person who’s just sort of supporting? I don’t know. I’m just asking. I’m just thinking about this right now as you’re talking about your vision.

Misty: Well, I may be naive. I may be rainbows and roses.

Morgan: Of course we are.

Misty: And also, I know you, and I feel like any woman who comes will have had the opportunity through our podcast to know you more fully, and to hear us engage with each other. So again, if we go back to the whole hospitality thing, right? It seems like for me, Puerto Rico is a natural place, and you being there is a given part of the experience, because it’s been such a restorative time for our relationship. And so… I don’t know. I don’t wanna negate what you’re sensing and what you’re feeling. That’s all true, and things to be taken into consideration. And I love that you wanna honor that space.

Morgan: What I’m hearing you say is you think it’ll be okay.

Misty: I think it’ll be okay. Yeah, I think it’ll be okay. I just have a sense of brightness to it.

Morgan: It feels right to me too. I wanna go. I wanna be there. And I think I just feel like… again, I don’t wanna make anybody feel uncomfortable or bring anybody down, you know?

Misty: I think they get to decide that for themselves, and they’ll get to decide before they even sign up. The cost of it is not something that somebody’s just going to go, “Oh, yeah.” They’re gonna have to count the cost. They’re gonna have to look at everything. They’re gonna have to decide if this is right for them. They’re gonna have a glimpse of what it’s gonna be about, and at least in part, they’ll know who you are, or at least have that opportunity to.

Morgan: Okay. Okay, cool. And it’s gonna be awesome for me too, because I’m already thinking a ton about next year, ’cause I’m turning 40. And so I’ve been thinking a ton about this next decade of my life, and just reflecting on my 30s and how amazing this is, and how much I love who I am and my life now, and that I’m gonna be stepping into the even better next decade of my life in my 40s.

I’m already six months out, and I’m just tingling with the anticipation. And so this will be a really fun precursor to that, ’cause my birthday’s in March. So being in January and having all of these thoughts and conversations and intentionality about who I want to continue to become as I step into the next decade of my life… so cool. It’s great timing. So I’m excited for me too.

Misty: But not only are you going to be preparing these beautiful, succulent dishes for us to enjoy together, you offer such opportunities for discovery through conversation, and that’s something that both of us love to do. So many beautiful things have happened in our homes, around the table, and Puerto Rico really is part of who we are.

This is a little segue. I forget where I was, but somebody was talking in a crowd about Puerto Rico, and they said, “And they clap when the plane lands.” And I’m like, “Yes! So you’ve really been there.” Everybody cheers when the plane lands.

Morgan: ‘Cause we celebrate everything.

Misty: I mean, everything is a celebration. And it’ll be beautiful to have just an intimate time with just a few women who really feel called to this, to celebrate their lives and their journey with them.

Morgan: Also, I was just thinking about this, Mom, but you know, we have very similar vocations. We spend every day just invested in, for me it’s careers, and for you as well, in your coaching. We spend the majority of our time thinking and imagining and exploring with people what is of meaning and of value to them, and how can they be doing more of that in their work and in their daily lives.

And so I think, for people who want that, who want those conversations and who want to be around people who are facilitating these conversations and exploring this alongside them, that’s something that we both do every day and want to do with these women. Just say, “Hey, come away with us for a little while, where nothing is being asked of you. You don’t have to be anything to anyone but yourself. And the only person that you need to spend time taking care of and knowing more deeply for these few days is you. And we’re here so curious about you, and so deeply excited by and invested in this exploration of you and your values and what brings you joy and what makes your heart more alive, and how to live that out in your daily life and in your time and your relationships.”

And so I think it’s fun. Yes, we both love cooking and hosting and adventuring and creating space for discovery, but we also are actually paid professionals in these conversations and in these spaces, and spend the majority of our time helping people discover how to live from this deeper space and sense of self, and in more alignment with who they are.

Misty: It’s a journey of discovering who are you. Sitting with someone in that space of asking the questions and giving the space for them to communicate and articulate, “Who am I? What really matters? What are the values? What are the desires? What are the passions?” All those things. And then saying, “Okay, where…” Like you just even asked, “What’s your next aspiration?” Right? And then giving space for, “Oh, wow, I’ve never really thought about that,” and beginning to explore that and define what that looks like and put words to it. Because when it’s just up here, it’s just a mumble jumble. When you have the space to actually put words to something that you feel inside, it’s more of who I am. That’s what we’re gonna do, and that’s our profession, and we do that. What a gift.

Morgan: When I think about who this is for… this retreat is for you if… I think it’s for anyone interested in themselves, and curious about who they are and how to reach deeper into that knowing and understanding of who you are, and then from that wellspring, how that manifests in how you live your life and how you spend your time.

And so it doesn’t have to be if you’re at a major life or career inflection point, or having a midlife crisis, or want to change your career or anything like that. I think it’s for anyone who is curious about themselves and wants to set aside time to explore that in a facilitated and intentional manner.

We can sit down and journal all day long, but there is, like you said, something really compelling about sitting across from someone who’s curious about you and who is asking these questions that you maybe haven’t thought to ask yourself about yourself, and letting that be pulled out of you, and you having these realizations. Just like you and I do every time we talk, Mom, and why we have this podcast, because it’s through the context of discourse and dialogue that real discovery occurs.

When someone’s inviting you to think about something in a way you haven’t before, you watch these realizations materialize in front of your very eyes. And it’s so powerful because it is you. You’re having these realizations and then articulating it, and then it comes out in words and you’re like, “Wow, that’s me. That’s mine. That’s who I am and who I’m becoming.” And then you have this new vision for yourself and of yourself to step into.

I told you earlier that one of the most pivotal years of my life, I met with a coach. I believe that it’s because of those conversations and those visions for who I want to be that I was able to then step into and pursue different opportunities that I don’t think I would have if I had just stayed in the confines of my own mind.

Misty: Yeah. Yeah. So true. So good.

Morgan: So if you wanna go deeper into yourself but get out of your own head, this is the place for you.

Misty: Right?

Morgan: Come to Puerto Rico.

Misty: And my massage therapist is coming with us.

Morgan: Yeah!

Misty: I know, right? So everybody will get a massage by my lovely, beautiful friend, Joslin. So there’ll be the three of us facilitating the different spaces. And so we only have room for seven women, seven other women.

Morgan: Yeah. Love that. Very small.

Misty: And very intimate. I love you.

Morgan: I love you, Mom.

Misty: Morgan said it best. You wanna go deeper into yourself? You wanna learn more about who you’re created to be and get out of your own head? This is the place for you. Rooted and Reaching, January the 20th through the 25th.

You can journal on your own, and that’s good. But there’s something different, something beautiful, something powerful about giving yourself extended time with women who ask the questions and who are willing to sit with you in the messy process of figuring out who God says you are and who you are becoming.

What’s on the other side of the door God is inviting you through? Rooted and Reaching, January the 20th through the 25th in Puerto Rico. Just seven women.

If something stirred in you while you were listening, if you’re wondering, “Is this you, God?” visit the website: www.mistyhughes.com/rooted-and-reaching.

Look at the space. Read through the vision. See if it’s right for you. And remember, my beautiful friend, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too.