5 Simple Steps to Guide You Into Grace

(When Striving Has Left You Exhausted)

She is tired.

Not the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep fixes. The kind that settles into your bones when you have been striving for too long — trying to make the wrong things right, attempting to clean up the messes before anyone notices, scrubbing and scouring to make yourself acceptable again.

Maybe that woman is you.

Maybe you have spent so many years trying to be good enough — for God, for your family, for the impossible standard in your own head — that you have forgotten what it feels like to simply rest in the fact that it is already finished.

That is what grace is. And most of us, if we are honest, have no idea how to actually live in it.

Grace — Simple, Yet So Complex

Grace is a mystery to those who have not yet received it.

It cannot be earned, worked for, or strived toward. It is, as Paul writes in Ephesians 2:8, simply the gift of God — not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Grace has not made me perfect. But it has given me something better than perfection — freedom.

Not freedom to sin. As Paul says in Romans 6:15, of course not. But freedom from the exhaustion of always trying to do and be enough on my own. Freedom from the replaying of every mess-up. Freedom from the lie that I have to make myself clean before I can come to God.

I know it might not sound very holy. But it is the holiest place I know — complete dependency on what Christ has already accomplished, leaving me with absolutely nothing to boast about.

If you are building rhythms of renewal in your life, receiving grace is where everything else begins. The Rhythms of Renewal Mini-Guide walks through the three rhythms of Rest, Restoration, and Relationship that make a grace-filled life actually sustainable — and it is a beautiful companion to everything in this post.

The 5 Steps — A Practical Path Into Grace

In the process of developing a lifestyle of leaning into grace — and it does not come naturally, I want to be honest about that — I have identified five simple steps that guide me back into His Always Available Abundant Grace, time and time again.

Step 1 | Awareness

Discover where you are not living in grace.

This is where the journey always begins — with an honest look at where you are actually living right now.

If you are being tormented — that is not grace. If you are beating yourself up — that is not grace. If you are replaying recordings of where you messed up — that is not grace. If you feel like you will never measure up — that is not grace. If you keep circling the same mountain of condemning thoughts, or worse, have set up camp there — that is not grace.

The first step is simply having an awareness that you are not living in the Always Available Abundant Grace of God. In coaching we call this a new or deeper awareness — it is where transformation begins. That ah-ha moment is powerful.

If you are not there yet, start here: ask God to make you aware. Ask Him to increase your awareness. He will.

Step 2 | Acknowledge

Be honest about what your actions are actually saying.

Our actions speak louder than our words. The question worth sitting with is this: what are my actions saying about what I actually believe about grace?

Here are some of the stories our actions tell, whether we mean them to or not:

• I do not know what grace really is
• I do not know how to access it
• I do not think I deserve it
• His grace is not enough for what I have done
• I have messed up too much for grace to cover

Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge the story you are telling yourself — because you cannot change a story you refuse to see.

This is exactly the kind of deep work we do together in the BECOMING Cohort — identifying the stories beneath the surface and rewriting them with truth. If you are ready to go deeper, that is a beautiful next step.

Step 3 | Ask

Bring your story to God and wait for His response.

Grab your journal for this one.

Ask God directly how He feels about the story you have been telling yourself. A few questions to get you started:

• “How do you feel about me deflecting your grace?”
• “What do you say about my inability to believe your grace is enough?”
• “Where am I still trying to clean up my own act instead of receiving what you offer?”
• “What more would you like to show me about Your grace?”

And then — wait.

This is the hard part. But God wants to speak to you. He wants you to live in His Always Available Abundant Grace. He died so you would have access to it.

Write down whatever you sense. Do not filter it through your own lens first — just write what comes. Your heart talking to your Father is not something that needs to be edited before it reaches Him.

Step 4 | Apologize

Humble yourself — and watch what happens.

I know. This one might feel like a stretch.

But think about it this way: when our children hurt someone — intentionally or not — we teach them to say they are sorry. Something shifts in a relationship when we acknowledge the hurt we have caused.

Our unwillingness to receive grace — whatever keeps us from it, whether fear or shame or pride or simply not knowing how — breaks the Father’s heart. He is a good, good Father who longs to lavish His children with good gifts. When we reject what Christ paid for, our actions are essentially saying to the Father: it is not enough.

So yes — we might need to apologize.

“I am so sorry, Father. Forgive me for acting like Your grace is not sufficient.”

James 4:6 tells us that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Apologizing is an act of humility. And the result is more grace.

Step 5 | Accept

You cannot give yourself what you have not first received.

How many times have you heard “just give yourself grace” — and felt completely unable to do it?

Here is why: you cannot give what you have not received. Grace is not self-generated. It flows from Him to you — and only then through you to others.

So the final step is to learn to accept His Always Available Abundant Grace. He says it is sufficient. He says it is enough. And 2 Corinthians 12:9 in the Amplified translation says it beautifully:

“My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough — always available — regardless of the situation; for My power is being perfected and shows itself most effectively in your weakness.”

Right now, even as you read this — open your hands.

Whisper: “I receive Your Always Available Abundant Grace.”

Pause. Let it be real.

Rinse and Repeat

The lies will still come. The condemning recordings will try to play again. This is not a one-and-done process — it is a practice. A rhythm. Something you return to again and again as you learn to renew your mind.

He has set you free. He remembers no more. It is covered. He has removed it as far as the east is from the west.

The Rhythms of Renewal Mini-Guide was built for exactly this — to give you a simple, repeatable framework for returning to rest, restoration, and relationship when the striving creeps back in. It is free and it is yours.

Want to go deeper into what renewing your mind looks like in daily life? Episode 7 of the Mom~2~Mom Mentoring Podcast Moms Guide To Grace  post walks through 5-simple steps to discover the grace needed to develop life-giving rhythms. 

When You Cannot Break Free Alone

If you are stuck — if the exhausting lies feel too loud and the freedom of grace feels too far away — please reach out.

This is not the abundant life God has promised you. And you do not have to find your way out alone.

Schedule a Free Clarity Call and let’s begin writing a better story together — one rooted in the freedom of His Always Available Abundant Grace.

Where in your life are you still striving instead of receiving — and what would change if you opened your hands today?