Ep 98: You Were Called Before You Were Busy

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Transcript

Someone asked me once a simple question. Misty, what do you feel called to? I smiled. I nodded. I probably said something that sounded reasonable, but on the inside. Something just exploded.

[00:00:22] I had an internal. Freak out moment because I happened to be asking myself that exact question for years and I still didn’t have an answer that I felt confident in. There was so much within me and I had no clue what a specific calling looked like or even meant. I had four kids. Parenting was a calling.

[00:00:50] I was homeschooling, educating my kids, teaching them. That was a calling. I was working part-time, contributing to the financial wellbeing of our family. Wasn’t that a calling? I was loving my family with everything I had, creating a home that was a calling. I was working in ministry church, leading youth discipleship groups, participating in women’s Bible studies.

[00:01:17] I. Prayer groups. Those all felt like callings. And underneath it all, there was still something stirring, something yearning that I could not put language to something more out there somewhere, just beyond my reach. A specific calling I could feel. But I couldn’t find, and the harder I looked, the more exhausted and confused I became.

[00:01:48] Maybe you know the feeling, maybe you are there right now, you’re doing all the things, but are asking the question, is this my calling?

[00:02:03] Hey friend. Welcome to Mom to Mom mentoring. I am so glad you found your way here today. And listen, if this is your first time listening, you picked a great episode to land on, and if you’ve been here a while, oh, do I have some things to share with you? This is episode 90. Eight, which means we are just two.

[00:02:30] Count them one, two away from 100, a hundred. I don’t take that lightly. That is a hundred conversations, a hundred chances to sit across the table from you and say. You are not alone in this, and I am so grateful for every single one and to celebrate because we are absolutely celebrating episode 100 is going to be something special.

[00:03:04] I am bringing my handsome hubby, Craig onto the podcast for the very first time, first man ever on Mom to Mom mentoring, and we’re gonna talk about. Connection, not communication. Connection, the kind that sustains you, the kind that restores you and reminds you who you are. You do not want to miss that one.

[00:03:30] So if you haven’t already, now is the time to hit the follow or subscribe button, whatever platform you are listening on. so it lands in your feed the moment. It drops. Now, who am I and why does this podcast exist? Well, I’m Misty Hughes. I am an ICF certified life and leadership coach.

[00:03:53] I’m a ministry founder, a mom who has lived the messy and the beautiful, and sometimes barely holding it together, reality that I know many of you are walking through right now. I founded a nonprofit in 2008 for weary, confused, conflicted single mothers and their children. It was a safe place for these women to gather and find hope healing.

[00:04:25] And restoration for their souls. As I stepped away from the leadership of that in 2020, I moved toward the creation of my coaching and speaking business. And finally, this podcast, because I believe something deeply, you don’t need more information, you need a mentor. I needed a mentor, someone safe a few steps ahead, willing to be honest, who will always point you back to the only anchor that never moves the word of God, who he is and the identity that he’s given you.

[00:05:05] So whether you’re driving a carpool, folding laundry, or finally getting five minutes of quiet, even if it’s locked in the bathroom, welcome. I am so honored that you are here. And today the mentoring, it looks like this. We’re gonna talk about a question that exhausts so many of us, the question.

[00:05:30] Of calling of purpose of the stirring that you feel, but can’t quite name because I think the way that we’ve been taught to think about this has done more harm than good, and I want to offer you something better.

[00:05:53] Okay, here’s the problem, or at least a good chunk of the problem. [00:06:00] In Christian circles, we’ve talked about purpose, like it’s a treasure hunt, like there’s a specific thing that you are supposed to find, uncover and then spend your life performing. And If you can’t answer that question confidently, something must be wrong with you.

[00:06:20] I used to get so aggravated when people talked about purpose because in my heart I kept thinking, Jesus isn’t my purpose to be. Loved by you and to love others with the love that you’ve loved me with. Why does it have to be bigger and more complicated than that? Why does it have to be this elusive, mountaintop thing that I’m chasing down?

[00:06:48] And for a mom who’s already giving everything she has adding, figuring out your divine purpose to the list feels like one more way to fail. So let’s do something. Let’s just put that version of the story down and start with a different one. Okay. Let’s revisit that season that I was talking about at the beginning of the episode for kids.

[00:07:19] One was a baby on my hip. I was homeschooling, working part-time. There were always people gathered in our home, around our table because hospitality was just woven into the fabric of who we are. I truly loved my life. I want to say that clearly. I loved my kids fiercely. I loved being home with them, but there was something.

[00:07:41] Underneath this persistent stirring and undercurrent, the sense that there was something more that I was supposed to be doing something for the kingdom out there somewhere. And in the Christian circles that I ran in, they talked a lot about purpose, about calling about doing something for God. And the more I heard it.

[00:08:05] The worst I felt because I couldn’t figure out what mine was and I didn’t have the time or the energy to try to figure out how would I ever fulfill it. Being home with my kids all day, I desperately wanted to please God to be pleasing to him. But the idea that people kept presenting to me about calling and purpose.

[00:08:31] Well, it made me feel confused. It made me feel like I was sidelines or disqualified somehow, even though I couldn’t have told you why. I’d read Jeremiah 29 11 for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future and instead of feeling peace, I’d feel pressure.

[00:09:02] Okay, God, can you just tell me what these plans are so I can get busy fulfilling them? I was trying so hard to figure it all out, to hear from God running after something I couldn’t see, and becoming exhausted in the process. Here is what I’ve learned in the years since. That exhaustion wasn’t a sign that I was failing.

[00:09:29] It was a sign that I was striving in my own strength after something that was never mine to chase down in the first place. Okay. I want to share that again Because I believe that so many of you listening are in that same place of exhaustion. The exhaustion is not a sign of failure. It is a sign that you are striving in your own strength after something that was never yours to chase down in the first place.

[00:10:08] Okay? Hang in there with me. Here is something that caught my heart, that gripped my soul, that literally sent me to my knees when I first really sat with it. Okay. Research consistently shows that one of the greatest sources of anxiety and burnout among high achieving women.

[00:10:35] That’s you, isn’t your workload? It’s the feeling that you haven’t found or fulfilled your purpose. The striving itself is the source of the exhaustion. Beloved, you are not designed to chase your calling. I wasn’t designed to fulfill this great and mighty calling and find out what it is. We are designed to walk with the one who holds that calling.

[00:11:12] Ephesians two 10 says it this way, You are God’s handy work. His masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do good works. Yes. Which God prepared in advance for you to do in advance before you were born, before you were busy, before you were trying to figure it all out the works they.

[00:11:40] Already been prepared. You are not behind. You’ve not missed it. He who began this good work in you truly is faithful. He is faithful to complete it.

[00:11:57] So here’s the distinction I would [00:12:00] like to present to you today. The one that changed everything for me, purpose. Is your identity? Calling is your assignment. Purpose never changes your identity In Christ rooted and grounded in the knowledge of who he is. It is unchangeable, unshakeable calling shifts. In every season, your purpose to be loved by God and love others with the love that he loves you with being rooted and grounded and firmly established in the knowledge of that love growing up as an oak of righteousness planted by streams of living water that.

[00:12:55] Is true of you. That will always be true of you. It doesn’t change depending on what season of life you are in or your kid’s in. It doesn’t change depending on what your calendar looks like or whether you’ve even figured out your next step. It’s just truth, Deep truth of your eternal identity, but your calling the assignment, it looks different in different seasons, and every single one of those assignments is holy and rooted in that identity.

[00:13:38] The mom who’s deep in the trenches of babies and toddlers right now. You are not on the sidelines. Your assignment, it’s sacred. It is worthy. And to the woman who is feeling that, stirring, that yearning for something more. I wanna say this, with so much love Stop looking for it out there.

[00:14:06] It’s not hiding from you. it’s not waiting for you to uncover it or find it at just the right time. You can’t miss it because you see he. Knows the plans. He holds the plans and he is faithful to bring them about as you stay close to him,

[00:14:32] I love what Jesus tells us in, Matthew 11, he says. In the message translation, walk with me, work with me. Watch how I do it, beloved, that’s purpose. Jeremiah one 15 tells us, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you before you were born. I set you apart. Beloved, he knew you before your calendar got full, before your kids needed you, before the busyness of life set in.

[00:15:13] You were called before you were busy. And that calling, that purpose, it has never left you. Now next week, episode. Da da da 99. We’re gonna keep pulling on this thread because the assignment changes, but the purpose doesn’t, and I think the conversation is gonna set something free in you, so make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it.

[00:15:47] And I would like to. Say if this stirred something in you, if you’ve been in that exhausting cycle of striving and searching and wondering if you’ve missed it, I wanna put something in your hands before I go. I created a free resource, it’s called Rhythms of Renewal. Mini guide. It walks you through rest, restoration and relationship.

[00:16:12] It includes a discovery Bible study through a passage that I mentioned today, Matthew 1128 through 30, where Jesus extends the most tender invitation to every tired, striving, searching, high achieving, capable, resourceful, beautiful woman of God he says. Come to me, all who are weary and burden I will give you rest.

[00:16:43] Take my yoke upon you. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in heart. You will find rest for your souls and that rest is being securely rooted. And grounded, firmly established in who he is and who he says you are. So here’s one thing I want you to know before you download this free resource. Your tiredness may actually be an invitation from Jesus to come close to him and discover a different way of living the guide.

[00:17:24] It is not a task to complete. It’s a conversation with Jesus so take your time. There is no rush. It is all about renewal, not performance. You can find this@mistyhughes.com. The link will be in the show notes and you can just grab it there and, and until next week, I would like for you to remember this.

[00:17:49] You were known before you were needed. You were called before. You were busy, and the one who set you apart before you were even [00:18:00] born has not forgotten a single thing that he has placed inside of you. This is an anchor. This is a truth that never moves. Hey there, I’m Misty. This is Mom to mom mentoring.

[00:18:19] Now go shine because Beloved, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. And something is coming for that milestone you won’t want to miss.

Grab the free Rhythms of Renewal Mini-Guide at mistyhughes.com

— which includes a Discovery Bible Study through Matthew 11:28–30 for the tired, searching, capable woman who is ready for a different way of living.

Misty’s Free workbook: Rhythms of Renewal: https://mistyhughes.myflodesk.com/discoverrhythms·

Community: Christian Moms in Business and Ministry on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianmomsinbusinessandministry

15-Minute Clarity Call with Misty: https://calendly.com/mistyhughes/new-meeting-1