Ep 65: Ascending The Transformative Hills Of Motherhood

Transcript

As I reflect on the journey, I can still hear the crunch of gravel. Under my shoes. We’d already walked for days through shaded Glens and under canopies of grapevines, heavy laden with grapes. It was like they were offering travelers good fruit. we’d followed narrow wooden boardwalks tracing miles of.

Endless, breathtaking coastline. We’d wandered through sleepy villages with cobblestone streets, crossed farmland, trudged along dusty trails, concrete roads, and every kind of path in between. Our feet had followed what pilgrim’s affectionately call the yellow brick road. Though it certainly wasn’t leading us to Oz, not that day.

The sun was rising over the hill. It casted long golden shadows across the trail and the air felt crisp and promising. We’d looked at our mat that morning and smiled. We only had 11.6 miles that day. It was going to be one of our shortest days, yet it was gonna be a good day, an easy day. And then the sound of bagpipes out of nowhere, they echoed across the cliffs, bold and mournful, stirring something deep inside as we rounded a bend near the coast.

There she was, like a scene from Braveheart. It was a woman standing on a rock, her regalia flapping in the wind, playing a haunting tune, bidding ass Wayne Camino. It was surreal, almost sacred. She didn’t say a word. She simply played a haunting, powerful tune. Holy. It was as if the music itself knew what lay ahead, because friend, what came next was not easy.

It was day six of our great adventure, almost halfway there. It wasn’t the longest day, but it was full of hills. Endless uphill, sneaky, relentless climbs that wore me down inch by inch wind pushed against me. A pack felt twice as heavy as it normally did. My legs throbbed. I found myself stopping more often than usual to breathe, to stretch.

To fight back a whisper that kept growing louder. You’re not as strong as you think, Misty, you can’t do this. Eventually, we reached a village and grabbed a bite to eat. I was so hopeful it was almost over. And that’s when Craig, my hill-conquering adventure-loving husband, looked at me and reminded me of something that nearly broke me.

I think there’s just one more hill before we get to our place for the night. It might be kind of steep deep. Just one more. But you know, his words could not prepare me for this hill. This hill, it felt kind of like a betrayal. It was steep, relentless. It was a half a mile of as scent into pure misery. My legs burned, my heart pounded, and my anger, it boiled.

As I looked up Craig forged onward, I knew there was no way for me to keep up with his pace. He loves a good hill to climb. So slowly, reluctantly, I began to climb. Each step was a wrestle between my body and my will. My mind and my emotions, and my emotions were [00:04:00] winning big time. my sunglasses were hiding the tears that were welling up in my eyes, and I thought, why is it always a hill? Why another one? Why did he do this to me? I quit. But here’s the thing. In reality, I couldn’t quit. There was no car, no Uber, no plan B. The only way to the top to our resting place was one angry, sweaty, exhausted step at a time.

There was no turning back. I wasn’t gonna sleep on the street. Something. Something awaited me at the top, and even though I didn’t know what I kept saying, yes, one angry, slow, tearful, step at a time.

 Hey there, sweet friend. Welcome to the Mom to Mom mentoring podcast, where we take off the masks, pull up a seat, and lean into what it means to live, lead, and love with purpose and passion, right in the middle of messy motherhood. I’m Misty Hughes. I’m an ICF certified transformational life and leadership coach, strengths champion, Simba facilitator, speaker, and a fellow traveler with you as you navigate the highs and lows of life, leadership and motherhood.

I help kingdom-minded moms like you, who are overwhelmed, spiritually dry, or just plain tired of spinning all the plates or wearing all the hats. I help you rediscover your God-given identity, align your life with what matters most, and live powerfully lead with purpose and love with passion. And if you’re new here.

Welcome. I’m also a wife Grammy to six wild and wonderful grandkids. I’m a former single mom of four amazing adults and their spouses and an adventure chasing Jesus girl who recently walked 14 days of the Camino de Santiago in Spain and Portugal. Which brings me to today because somewhere between blistered feet, which I am thrilled to say, I did not have any and beautiful sunsets.

I felt the Lord stirring something new in me. Maybe rekindling an old flame, a message that wasn’t just for me. It’s for you. It’s for the mom who’s carrying a silent load for the mom who’s smiling on the outside, but literally wilting on the inside.

It’s for the mom who’s climbing her own hill, but maybe you don’t even have the words for it yet. This episode kicks off a new series that I’m calling the Camino Chronicles. It’s gonna be a collection of stories, reflections, and spiritual lessons that I’m gonna share from the trail. But here’s the thing, it won’t be back to back.

Instead, you’ll hear these Camino episodes spread over the course of the next. Three, maybe four months. They’re gonna be braided in between interviews, teaching, and practical encouragement. Why? Well, because I don’t wanna rush it for you. I want these messages to land gently in your soul, like a letter from a friend who gets you.

You see, the Camino wasn’t a sprint. Neither is your transformation Today we begin with a story about hills and why they often undo us in the very best of ways. We will laugh, we’ll cry, but more than anything, I hope you’ll feel less alone and more seen by the God who walks with you.

So mom, [00:08:00] grab your coffee, lace up those spiritual hiking boots, and let’s tackle some hills together

 now. Let me tell you about the hill. The one that I thought might be the end of me, maybe even the end of my marriage. We were about halfway through our Camino hike when we reached it. It was a brutally steep incline that stretched up like. My punishment from the sky. I’m not exaggerating when I say I internally accused my husband of abuse for making me walk this hill instead of calling me an Uber. It wasn’t. Just physically hard. It was so hard.

Every step felt like I was arguing with my body, my mind, and my emotions. I was hot, frustrated. I was determined to make Craig pay for making me walk this hill to what was sure to be my death. I was angry and somewhat defeated. I made the rational decision to not use the tools that I knew would help me regulate my emotions.

It’s a tool I’ve shared with you, naming, feeling and freeing your emotions. I’ll put the link in the show notes because it really does work. It was just. That day I was being stubborn. I didn’t want to pre my anger, my resentment. I wanted to hold onto it. And deep down, I was hearing an old voice of accusation against me.

I know you’ve probably heard it too. You should be stronger than this. All those weeks of working out should have prepared you. AKA failure. It’s never enough. Why bother everyone else? seems to be handling it fine. What’s wrong with you? Why is this such a big deal? Misty? Why are you making such a big deal out of this?

You are being too emotional. Ugh. Those voices. Well, then I began to spot a few random rose bushes along the path, and finally I got it. I literally stopped stooped over and took a deep breath. Inhaling the fragrance of the rose simple act became the metaphor that I didn’t know I needed for the rest of the journey.

You see my Camino would look different than Craig’s my path, my pace, my processing. It would all be mine. In all the Facebook groups, all the books, all the articles about the Camino, there are themes and sayings that you learn. One of the things that Pilgrims are told is this is your Camino. In other words, your way is different from every other person who has done this and will ever do it.

Go your way. And I had To remember a lesson that I learned years ago to go my way. Not Craig’s, not anyone else’s. Years ago in my diligent study of the Song of Solomon, I learned to walk out a truth of the passage. I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense.

Sometimes you forget the way of the Lord. The age old teaching, sometimes through transition and change, you forget what God has done, what you’ve learned, and there comes a time when confronted with the hard that God brings you to remembrance. It was that way for me. The reality is oftentimes the pressure to be [00:12:00] someone different comes from those we love the most.

Our spouse, our family, our mentors. They say, this is how I did it, and they mean well, but. You have to find your own rhythm, and relax into that rhythm. That’s what God was showing me again in his kindness and in response to some prayers that I’d been praying prior to the Camino God was calling me to remember.

In the eight chapters of the Song of Solomon, this declaration, I will go My way to the mountain of Myrrh is made about halfway through the book in chapter four, verse six. It’s a turning point for the heroine of that story, the Shulamite and. That declaration, that knowing down deep in my soul that my way was unique, different, and beautiful, was coming about halfway through our own journey and that mountain of me, we have to say yes to Beloved.

It’s a place of death. Remember the story of Abraham taking Isaac up, Mount Mariah, because God asked him to sacrifice his son, his only son. There was no promise of a lamb in a thicket. Abraham made the choice to take Isaac, by the hand to death. Mariah and Murr are both derived from the same root word.

In Hebrew, more MOR means Mer. It’s a fragrant resin. It was a key ingredient in the temple incense that signified worship and sacrifice. It was also one of the three offerings brought to Jesus at his birth. And myrrh is a spice that is used in embalming after a death. Mariah. It is thought to be a combination of more MOR and ya.

A shortened form of God’s name, potentially meaning the Lord is my teacher, or the land of Mer. Genesis 2214 tells us on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided. You see, it wasn’t until Abraham reached the top, not until he lifted the knife that the provision came. Oftentimes, our provision comes at the peak of the ultimate surrender.

Beloved, We all are being called to take a journey of surrender. Sacrifice your own way. Your pilgrimage to choose to go your way up. That mountain of Mer, not knowing what you will find at the top you don’t have any idea of how God’s faithfulness will show up.

You are just called to ascend. I had no clue of what waited me at the top. On my own ascent, I didn’t meet with God in a supernatural blaze of glory. I didn’t feel the strength of the Holy Spirit surging through my bones like a great Shazam. I met with me. The angry, self-centered, accusatory, whiny, not very pretty version of me.

God was faithful on the journey of ascent, even when I wasn’t. God was kind, even though I was a brat. A Rose Bush, a breeze, a tree for shade. Craig even came back down to give me a hand,

which I quickly pushed away. I. I had chosen not [00:16:00] to regulate my emotions. I knew my 92nd practice, I knew better. I just didn’t wanna do it. I wanted to be mad. But even still, God didn’t withdraw. Craig didn’t either. He received my apology, he extended grace. He reflected Jesus to me, and then I saw something that I hadn’t seen.

Craig had gone ahead, gone before. He had spent months and months choosing just the right places for us to stay. And every one of them, every single one was exactly what we needed. And doesn’t God do the same? He goes ahead. He prepares a place. He has prepared a place and we fuss, complain, accuse on the very way to his provision.

I wonder about Abraham. I wonder what his journey was like up that mountain of Merh. You see Isaac’s name means laughter. Did Abraham take laughter by the hand and lead him to surrender? Well, I certainly wasn’t laughing that day, but God’s provision still waited at the top. The hill wasn’t just physically hard, it was mentally excruciating.

The exhaustion stripped me down to my raw self. Mom, have you ever felt too tired to fight the thoughts that you know are lies? I had literally no strength left to silence the lies and the voices, but pausing to stop and smell the roses that steadied me in that moment and for the journey ahead.

 It became the anchor for every hill that would follow because you see at the very top right when I thought I would explode.

We arrived at the most breathtaking place. We stayed our entire journey. We slept with windows wide open. No screens, no bugs. Just clean air. The sound of the waves down below, and freedom for my soul. Below us, clay tile, rooftops of a quiet village, the clanging of an ancient church bell every hour.

And a lone horse grazing in a field. We didn’t talk much. We didn’t need to. That evening, I pulled out a travel size watercolor set and painted in peace. I played, we didn’t go back down the hill that day. We rested in the gift of the space that had been provided. Now here’s a lesson I would love to pass on to you, my dear friend, the Hill.

It may feel like punishment, but it might be just the place that God is using to lead you into rest, to breathe, to stop rushing Also, the top of your hardest hill might be the gateway to your deepest joy. Today I’d like to leave you with three reflections from this hilltop moment.

Feel free to pause so you can grab a paper and pencil and write down these reflections or just come back to them later. Number one, your climb. Doesn’t need to match someone else’s pace. Whether it’s your husband, your best friend, your parents, your Instagram feed, you are not failing. If you’re slower, you are walking your Camino.

Number two, you are allowed [00:20:00] to stop and savor. Productivity is not proof of your worth. Even in the hard places, God has planted roses. You just have to be still long enough to notice them. Number three, the beauty comes after the hardest part. You don’t always see the purpose of the hill. Until you’ve climbed it, but oh, beloved, the view, the peace, the presence of God that awaits you at the top of that summit, Friend, maybe today you’re on your own version of that hill. Maybe you’re crying in your car after drop off. Feeling the weight of marriage tension, or wrestling with the question, why does this feel so hard? Let me say it clearly. It’s not just you.

You are not weak, and your hill is holy ground. So take your time, smell the roses, and when you get to the top, don’t rush back down. We we’re gonna talk about the downhill journey on another Camino Chronicles at a later date. But until then, I hope this first hill story gives you space to exhale to remember, this is your Camino.

You can say it and declare it. Today. I will go my way to the mountain of Mer. And you dear one, are not climbing alone. God meets you on the hill and the view at the top, it is worth every single sweaty step. Friend, if this episode stirred something in your heart, if you’ve ever found yourself on a hard hill, wondering if you could take one more step, would you consider sharing this episode with another woman who might need that same reminder today?

When you share, you don’t just pass along a podcast, you offer hope, perspective, and a gentle nudge that says, you’re not alone. I see you. And if you found this episode meaningful, would you leave a five star review Your words help this message rise and reach more women who are trying to walk their own uphill path with purpose and grace.

 If you are ready to pause, reflect, and rediscover what God might be inviting you into right now, especially if your life feels like an endless uphill climb, then I would love to offer you a free clarity call. no pressure, no pitch.

Just a safe space to breathe process and begin to realign with what matters most. You can book it with a link in the show notes. Remember, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. So beloved mom, rise and shine today.

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