Ep 118: A Hopeful Conversation With Morgan & Mom

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TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] MISTY: Okay, we’re actually doing this. Three, two, one, go. Right? So if you heard the trailer last week, and it wasn’t really a trailer, it more was maybe a teaser? I don’t know. Anyway, you already know a little bit about what this is. If you didn’t, welcome. I’m Misty, and sitting across this podcast’s four-by-four room is my daughter Morgan.

[00:00:32] And this isn’t a teaching episode. There’s no framework, no three steps, no takeaway at the end. It’s just us talking the way we talk on the phone every week, except now you get to listen in. It’s a little bit terrifying, kind of unnerving, but today we wanted to start somewhere hopeful, not because everything’s all tied up neatly or we have it figured out.

[00:01:00] It isn’t. But because hope feels like the right place to begin.

[00:01:08] How you feeling about this, Morgan?

[00:01:11] MORGAN: I’m feeling pretty excited, but the hardest part is starting. It’s tough to get everything set up, and I haven’t done anything at all, and it was still hard. And then it’s sort of like I know that we have a natural flow of conversation that will occur, but it’s just like getting over the hurdle of getting started.

[00:01:33] MISTY: And I’m wondering too if it’s like, “Oh, let’s see if we can do this or see if we can do that” — kind of as a way of procrastinating, you think?

[00:01:49] you asked me a question at lunch.

[00:01:50] MORGAN: I said, “What are you nervous about?” And you said, “That’s a good question for the podcast.” So, Mom, what are you nervous about? You seem apprehensive.

[00:02:02] MISTY: Do I seem apprehensive?

[00:02:04] MORGAN: Your eyes are kinda shifty. No, I’m just kidding. Yeah, a little bit.

[00:02:08] MISTY: I think I’m… Yeah, I am nervous. I’ve been nervous about this. I’ve been really excited about it — but I’ve been nervous, and I’m probably gonna cry already, right?

[00:02:20] I think I am nervous about — like everything that’s just happened here, like the technology — and all that stuff because I want it to sound good. I want it to be good. Everybody I’ve talked to, I’ve been like, “Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna do video.” And people say, “Oh, but you and Morgan and your interaction, you wanna catch that on video.”

[00:02:50] And so it’s how can we do video? I just am uneducated in this area.

[00:02:56] MORGAN: You say that, but I’m like flabbergasted. You know so much, and you have so much. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do a podcast. And the fact that you’ve done this and learned this and are doing it successfully — I’m just watching you and I’m amazed. I’m already so impressed.

[00:03:17] MISTY: Well, thank you. It feels like I have so much more to go. So I’ve been nervous about that, and so it’s just like, ah, let’s just do it. I think I’m nervous about what’s gonna come up in our conversations, because we are committed to being authentic and transparent on this show, and we’re gonna talk about things that maybe we haven’t talked about — so everyone that’s listening, you will get to hear it first.

[00:03:55] MORGAN: And we’re gonna talk about things and ways in which we’ve hurt each other and disappointed each other, and lost trust and then rebuilt that trust. And ultimately, the reason we’re doing this is because we are a miracle, and the fact that we have a relationship and love one another is such a miracle.

[00:04:29] And when I share about some of the things you and I talk about with friends or even coworkers, over and over again, people are like, “I can’t believe you can talk about things like that with your mom. I can’t believe you have this kind of relationship with your mom.” And I feel that way too. I just feel really, really lucky, and so my hope is that it gives other people hope, ’cause I never thought I would have this kind of a relationship with you, at least for a really long time. But part of the story is pain and sadness and estrangement and misunderstanding and different expectations.

[00:04:55] And so I’m scared that I’m gonna hurt you in being honest. I don’t wanna not share a part of our story or my experience. But also — there are things that I’m afraid that I’ll say that will make you feel sad or hurt. And I’m not planning anything, but it could happen.

[00:05:17] And vice versa — I’m scared I’ll learn ways that I hurt you that I had no idea, and let you down. And I know we’ve talked about so much, but there’s also so much that we still haven’t talked about.

[00:05:33] MISTY: And maybe we can lay a few ground rules —

[00:05:39] MORGAN: Oh, like a safe word?

[00:05:40] MISTY: A safe word? What does that mean?

[00:05:44] MORGAN: It just means if someone’s uncomfortable, then they say that word, and it’s just no questions asked. You stop.

[00:05:50] MISTY: Oh, okay. We can do a safe word. I guess what I was thinking about was, if we need to pause and walk away — we have control over this little computer. We can hit pause, and we can go, “Okay.”

[00:06:03] MORGAN: We can go get a cookie. We could get a cookie.

[00:06:06] MISTY: That makes everything better. Right. But yeah, I think a lot more conversations are going to come out of our conversations. So the safe word — cookie. And then that means that we’re taking a break, and we’re gonna go get a cookie.

[00:06:25] MORGAN: Yeah, and then we’ll give ourselves something sweet and good, and we’ll have a refresh of our surroundings, and we’ll remind ourselves that this is good, and we are good, and our intentions toward each other are good.

[00:06:41] I think the other thing to remind ourselves of is, right now we’re like, “Okay, this could get intense. This could be sad. This could be hard. It could dredge up pain,” but also, this is gonna be really fun. And we have a lot of really exciting and interesting and funny conversations, and so I think it will be just as much happiness and joy and celebration as it will be serious and sobering.

[00:07:12] So it’s both and, but ultimately, ours is a story of hope, and ours is a story of love, and ours is a story of the power and transformation of two people who love each other and are committed to change and to continually learning about who they are, and being open, and creating space in a relationship for someone else to continue to grow and become more and more who they are.

[00:07:38] That’s the real story at the beginning, middle, and end of the day.

[00:07:43] MISTY: That’s a good story.

[00:07:45] MORGAN: That’s why we’re here. ‘Cause it’s a good story — that gives us happiness and hope. And maybe it will for others as well.

[00:07:54] MISTY: Yeah, because I think that’s one thing that both of us enjoy, and we do it naturally, we don’t think about it — is just always creating space for people to step into hope, in some way, shape, or form. That’s a little bit about some of the things that we’re a little bit nervous about. Okay, so what are you excited about?

[00:08:20] MORGAN: Oh my gosh, I’m so excited. I am excited to spend time with you. You’re one of my favorite people in the whole world, and it fills my heart to be with you, and I cry every time we say goodbye. I’m sad when we leave. So I’m excited to spend time with you. I’m also so excited to learn more about your story, and I think that everyone at some point in their life wishes that they knew more of their parents’ stories.

[00:09:02] And I can’t believe I get this chance, even if we never publish this podcast or no one ever hears it — I can’t believe I get to hear your story and ask you questions about what it was like for you when you were my age. This is maybe some of the catalyst of this conversation — there are so many times where we’ve talked and I’ve been like, “Well, what’s your experience with this thing?”

[00:09:28] Or, “What’s your perception of this situation?” And it’s so interesting to hear, and I wanna learn more. And so I’m really excited to get to know you more and hear about the history of your life and your experiences from before I was born that brought you to be in this place and who you are now.

[00:09:51] I am excited about learning about myself, because I think there’s so much that happens in this time-honored tradition of the oral narrative that is an opportunity for reflection. And so many times we’ll say something and be like, “Oh, I just spoke a truth about my life that I didn’t know until this moment.”

[00:10:13] And we’re creating an environment that’s rich for the opportunity for that to happen. And so I think I’m gonna learn a lot of things about myself, my own hopes and dreams and fears. What are you excited about, Mom?

[00:10:26] MISTY: Ooh, I’m excited about having someone else to talk for 30 minutes instead of just me. That was all really very beautiful and lovely, so thank you for sharing all of that. And that makes me a little nervous because I’m like, “Oh, what if I don’t remember?”

[00:10:59] So I am so excited about having extended time with you, because everyone knows that being with you is life-giving, and not only to me. What is so fun is watching you bring life to everyone else that you meet. And so it’s like this contagious fill-my-cup-to-overflow. So I am thrilled to also share time with you.

[00:11:21] And one thing I have found in my podcast conversations with Craig — they weren’t interviews, and that’s what I love about what we’re doing. It’s not me interviewing you or you interviewing me. It’s us having a conversation. And things come up in the podcast space, like you said, you go, “Oh, that’s a truth.” That’s a revelation.

[00:11:46] And that’s happened just the few times with Craig, so I am fully expectant, fully excited about discovery, about personal development for my own self in this space, because I love to give to others. I’m excited that what we’re going to experience in our conversation and in our community and in our relationship with each other, we just get to splash out to others.

[00:12:23] And not just with hope, but with, “Oh, wow, that’s a truth. Maybe I should reflect on that.” So it’s not just us experiencing that moment — it’s a way that we get to invite others in to experience their moments as well, and I love doing that with you. You’re brilliant. You are brilliant and beautiful and aspiring. You provoke me to be better, to think outside of the way that I think. It’s gonna be a stretch. I’m gonna be stretched here.

[00:13:05] MORGAN: I love it when my mom comes to visit. I always tell my friends and coworkers, “Yeah, it’s great when my mom comes to visit. Everyone she meets, she’s just like, ‘Isn’t Morgan wonderful?'” And I’m like, “Mom, it’s my mom. Of course she’d think I’m wonderful.”

[00:13:21] MISTY: Yeah, well actually, usually other people say it to me first. “Oh my gosh, Morgan is so wonderful.” I’m like, “I know,” and then we go off on this whole thing about all the wonderful things about Morgan, so it’s very fun.

[00:13:38] I’m very loved.

[00:13:39] MISTY: Okay, so we’ve been chatting about our hopes and our dreams, our fears, our excitement for what this is going to be about. What’s your vision for this, outside of just being together?

[00:14:07] MORGAN: Like our interpersonal relationship and personal development beyond that? Like the why. Yeah, that’s a great question. I would say my hope for this podcast is to bring hope to others, whoever this can inspire and encourage. Like I said, ours is a story of reconciliation, and it’s a miracle. So I just would like this to be a testament that this can happen, and these sorts of things exist, and you can love someone who thinks differently than you do. So my hope is that this podcast brings hope to other people who hear it.

[00:14:48] Again, the impetus for this for me is that so many times I’ve recounted conversations that we’ve had, and thoughts that have been provoked, and epiphanies or ideas that we’ve come up with in the course of a conversation, and it just made me realize that this is rare and special.

[00:15:08] And so a part of me just wants to capture it, and then also hopefully share it out with the world. And I feel silly or shy to have any sort of aspirations about who wants to listen to this. So in my mental preparation for this, I’ve been just limiting my hopes to the impact that this will have for you and me. Because that is enough.

[00:15:37] And it will be a benefit if anybody else likes this and wants to listen, but it feels almost audacious to assume that. So I have some doubts and insecurities about even wanting to think that anyone else would wanna listen to this. So I’m satisfied with the value that this will give to me and to you and to our relationship, and anything beyond that is bonus material.

[00:16:08] MISTY: Bonus. Like this is your bonus episode. So good. Well, thank you. That is really helpful to me. We’re doing this under the Mom to Mom Mentoring umbrella, and I’m calling this, quote, “Season 2.” I guess in the podcast world people have different seasons, and I’ve never had another season. I’ve had 115 episodes for season one. It was a good season. And so this is season two, and truthfully, we don’t know how long it’s gonna last. We’re going to tape some episodes, and we’re going to see.

[00:16:47] We’re gonna share in the next episode a little bit more about our journey as individuals, and then we’re gonna share about our journey as mother and daughter. And so those are gonna encompass probably the first three to five episodes, I would say, because we’re gonna keep ’em kinda short. We’re not gonna talk to you for an hour, even though we probably could. And then we’re gonna segue into our conversations — a little bit about where this whole idea came from. Morgan and I have had, over the past couple years, tried to talk to each other weekly.

[00:17:30] But it usually ends up about every other week that we touch base. But typically, on our phone calls, we will get into a discussion about change, or about loneliness, or about friendships, or about dating, or what else?

[00:17:47] MORGAN: Love, the meaning of life, vocation, what contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction really looks like. I think just soul stuff. Existential crises material. And, um, yeah — just the hard stuff we’re exploring.

[00:18:14] MISTY: So anyway, I don’t know, probably two years ago, we were talking and it was like, “Ah, this would make a great podcast episode.” And so over the couple years, we’ve had these discussions, and we’ve just been like, “Ah, this would be so great on a podcast.” Not that we have an answer. Not that we figure anything out. It’s just amazing space to explore together. And so that’s what we’re gonna be doing.

[00:18:49] MORGAN: Yeah, and everyone’s thinking about these questions all the time. And so what we’re exploring is the exploration of these questions in the context of a mother-daughter relationship.

[00:19:04] MISTY: That’s the goods of where we’re going with this.

[00:19:09] MORGAN: At least where we think we’re going. We don’t know. We’re high change individuals. And I will also just acknowledge — I don’t listen to podcasts. I don’t like podcasts, so I feel cheeky even making a podcast, and I definitely have some major insecurity and imposter syndrome right now in doing this. I’ll just go ahead and level-set this, put it out there.

[00:19:37] I feel like — I know that we like each other and derive value from our conversations, and I think other people do too, at least secondhand, but I also, at the same time, have this big, huge, shouting question, like, we don’t have anything to say, and why would we have the audacity to think that people would wanna listen? And I don’t even listen to podcasts. I don’t like other people’s voices in my ear, in my head. Real people and real conversations. So I definitely am walking into this with — I’m excited to be here, and I also feel like I have no business being here.

[00:20:16] MISTY: See? That’s what it’s all about — authenticity, right? Thank you for putting that out there. So you’re not gonna listen to this podcast probably then, right?

[00:20:25] MORGAN: Oh my God, I don’t know. I haven’t even thought of that. Have not even considered it. We’ll come back to that.

[00:20:37] MISTY: Now, I have a way that I’ve always ended my podcast before, and so we’ll have to probably think of our own closing. But for now, just tell us your name, and then I’ll tell my name, and then we’ll just say this is Morgan and Mom.

[00:20:58] MORGAN: I’m gonna say — I’m Morgan and I love you. Well, that wraps up our debut recording. I’m Morgan, and I love you.

[00:21:10] MISTY: I’m Misty, and I love you too.

[00:21:15] Okay, we made it. That’s it for this one. Like we said, no big lesson today. Just wanted you to know where we’re starting from. And if this felt like something that you needed to hear, please take a moment, hit subscribe, and follow along.

[00:21:34] That’s really our only ask. Subscribe or send this to someone who might need a hopeful conversation this week, too. Next week’s a different kind of conversation. We’re gonna talk about what it was like for Morgan growing up with yours truly as a single mom, and that one’s gonna be a bit heavier.

[00:22:01] I don’t know everything that she’s going to say, honestly. We’ve not really had this conversation in the way that we’re gonna have it with you next week. You’ll find out with everyone else. I wanna invite you to come back, sit around the table with us, and we’ll see you next week.

[00:22:25] MORGAN: Do we clap again? Go ahead.

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