The Gift of Solitude: Why You Need a Silent Night This Season

I already know what you’re thinking.

Solitude? Silence? This woman has clearly never seen my December calendar.

And you’re right — I can’t see it. But I’ve lived one very much like it. The late nights, the school events, the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the managing of everyone else’s Christmas magic while quietly wondering if anyone is managing yours.

Finding a silent night when you are the one holding everything together feels less like a spiritual invitation and more like a cruel joke.

And yet.

I want to sit across the table from you for a moment — your favorite coffee shop, your drink of choice, no agenda. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you something I mean with everything in me:

You are seen. Yes, you are appreciated. You are treasured.

Your mental, emotional, and physical well-being matter. And the gift I want to offer you this season — the one that will keep giving long after the wrapping paper is in the recycling bin — is the gift of solitude.

Stay with me. I know you have reasons why it won’t work. I’d love to hear every one of them.

And then I’d lovingly remind you: you get to choose.

When the Wick Is Almost Out

Maybe you are holding on by a shoestring right now. Maybe the fire in your heart and the sparkle in your eyes are fading faster than you want to admit.

Isaiah has something for you in that place. In Isaiah 42:3 he writes of the One who comes for us: “A bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench.”

He is not disappointed in your dimness. God is not waiting for you to get it together before He draws near. He comes for the bruised reed. The Heavenly Father cups His hands around the flickering flame.

But friend — you have to give Him somewhere to meet you.

That somewhere is solitude.

The Woman Who Had Every Excuse

A number of years ago, I found myself sitting at a proverbial table with someone older and wiser — not in person, but through her story. A woman whose life made every excuse I had feel very small.

Her name was Susanna Wesley — mother of nineteen children, known as the Mother of Methodism, and one of the most tenacious women of prayer in church history.

Susanna’s life was not peaceful. Her husband faced imprisonment. He abandoned her and the children for a full year. She buried some of her children. Her family home burned to the ground, scattering the family while it was rebuilt. The chaos of her household was not a season — it was a permanent condition.

And yet Susanna chose prayer over leisure. Every time. She carved out sacred space in the only way available to her — by pulling her apron up over her head. That was her signal to her children: mama is with God. Wait.

When I read her story, I decided to follow her example — literally. I was not an apron-wearing mom, but I did have fabric. My children would regularly find me on the floor, covered in a silk cloth, praying, crying, sometimes catching a few minutes of rest. Every excuse I had was met with the quiet weight of her relentless pursuit of God in the middle of unimaginable circumstances.

Susanna Wesley’s legacy lives in the Mom2Mom Mentoring community every time one of us chooses to carve out sacred space instead of giving it away.

Stealing Moments, Finding Magic

Her example empowered me in those early, overwhelming years of parenting.

I learned that it was okay to let the kids watch another movie. Okay to steal a few minutes. Okay to establish space for myself in the middle of the beautiful chaos.

And here is what I discovered: the house did not fall down. There was no unmanageable mess. No one met any unfortunate fate.

I had been a control freak, convinced that the moment I stepped away something would unravel. Week by week, as I practiced solitude — even in tiny increments — my capacity to be present with Jesus grew. And so did my capacity to be present with my children.

There were good seasons and seasons where life simply took over and tomorrow became a month of missed mornings. I would find myself falling apart under compounded stress before I finally remembered: return to the plumbline. Without those moments — and in those early days, they truly were just moments — I was not the mom I wanted to be.

If you want to go deeper on building rhythms of solitude into your everyday life, not just the holidays, the Daily Rhythms for Christian Moms post is a great place to start.

Give Yourself the Gift — Literally

A friend of mine recently bought herself her own Christmas present. Wrapped it. Told her husband. Put it under the tree.

I think she is onto something.

Here is a simple, slightly delightful way to make your solitude real and protected this season:

• Buy your favorite tea, a new mug, or a small sweet treat
• Write yourself a coupon for one hour of silence and solitude — to be used before the new year
• Wrap it in something lovely and tie it with a bow
• Leave the tag blank (isn’t this getting fun?)
• Place it under the tree
• On Christmas morning, unwrap it in front of your family
• With them as your witnesses, declare out loud when your sacred hour will be — and ask your kids and husband to give you that space

Maybe it’s early morning before anyone stirs. Perhaps it’s after the gifts are opened and the excitement settles. Maybe you borrow the noise-canceling headphones you just gave your teenager.

Take the time. Make the time. Give yourself the gift of silence.

I share more about the power of solitude and rest in the Mom~2~Mom Mentoring Ep 91: Start With Rest Not Rush

BONUS: A Simple Solitude Practice to Get You Started

When you find your sacred space — whether it’s five minutes or an hour — begin here:

Breathe. Taking time to breathe connects you with the present moment, and you want to be fully present in this gift of silence.

For one full minute, close your eyes. Feel your breath. Let it bring you into the now.

Exhale: “Jesus, I give you everyone and everything.” Inhale: “Holy Spirit, I receive the gift of your presence.”

Now read this passage slowly, three or four times. Each time, let it go a little deeper — like rain soaking into dry ground:

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end.” (Isaiah 9:6-7)

Envision Jesus sitting next to you in this sacred space.

Look at Him.

What does each of these qualities look like? Smell like? Feel like?

Taste and see His goodness.

WONDERFUL … breathe

COUNSELOR … breathe

MIGHTY GOD … breathe

EVERLASTING FATHER … breathe

PRINCE OF PEACE … breathe

In this sacred space, may you find the peace, the joy, and the presence of the One who came for you.

You Are Worth This

Friend, the woman who gives herself the gift of solitude this season is not being selfish.

She is being wise.

She is following in the footsteps of a mother of nineteen who pulled her apron over her head in the middle of chaos and chose the better thing. This woman is tending to a flickering wick so the flame does not go out. She is filling herself so she has something real to give the people she loves most.

Come share how you plan to carve out your sacred space this season in the Mom2Mom Mentoring Facebook Group — a community of women who are learning to give themselves permission to be filled before they pour out.

What would change in your home this Christmas if you gave yourself one hour of holy silence?

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Rhythms of Renewal Mini-Guide