Ep 107: Sex, Shame, and God’s Design with Mary Whitman Ortiz

Listen on Spotify

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Research shows that women between the ages of 27 and 45 are actually at their peak of sexual interest, and yet study after study shows that only about half of married women describe themselves as sexually satisfied. In other words, the woman right in the middle of the carpool, and ministry, and marriage, this matters to them more than they’re letting on, and most of them have never had a single honest conversation about it.

My mom didn’t really talk about sex. What she did communicate without a single word was that the topic is not safe. It’s not appropriate, might even be shameful. Her unspoken message was basically there’s only one thing men want, and a woman who gives it away freely, she’s a floozy. That was the filter that I carried into my first marriage.

I carried it into parenting. I was so afraid of getting it wrong that mostly I said and did nothing, and silence, I’ve learned, has its own consequences. I raised my kids in purity culture, thinking that’s the safe choice, when really all it did was keep me from having to say anything at all. At some point, I decided someone in my family line was going to have to break that silence with grace and truth and without shame.

Beloved, I’m still on that journey, and that’s exactly why this conversation exists today. Now, before I tell you more, I want you to hear a word from my guest, because she said something in our conversation that I want rattling around in your beautiful little head before we even begin

Mary: God really had a good idea. If you go back and read the creation story, and God made this, and he said it was good, and God made this, and he said it was good. But when he gets to Adam and Eve, he says it was very good because he knew the design of Adam’s body and Eve’s body and the way they would fit together and function, and the joy and the closeness and the pleasure, all of the benefits of sex.

It gets better.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Yeah, God really had a good idea. I love that. And if that 30 seconds made you exhale just a little, stay right here because there is so much more where that came from

Hey there. Welcome to Mom to Mom Mentoring, a weekly podcast offering soul-nourishing wisdom for Christian moms who are in search of peace, presence, and purpose in the middle of real life.

Whether you found us today through a friend who sent you this episode with zero explanation, which I think is about to happen a lot, or you’ve been here from the beginning, I am so glad you’re here in this room with me.

 I’m Misty Hughes. I’m an ICF-certified life coach, a mentor, a fellow mom who has lived a lot of what we talk about here on this podcast. I have spent 25 years helping Christian women move from overwhelmed into aligned, and I believe with everything in me that mentoring is one of the most powerful forces for change in a woman’s life.

Because what’s caught is often more than what’s taught. And that’s what we do here. Week after week, real conversations, real women, real freedom. Before we go further, I wanna tell you [00:04:00] about something I’ve been building just for you. If you’ve been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know we talk about rhythms, about rest, about alignment, about living from identity instead of exhaustion, and I’m creating a space for women to experience all of that in four days.

It’s called Come to the Table, and the name, it’s intentional. He brought me to His banqueting table, and His banner over me is love. Beloved, this isn’t a conference. It’s not a goal-setting weekend or a hustle reset. It’s a table prepared, waiting, set with everything you need. It is for the woman who’s spiritually hungry and ready to stop settling for crumbs, for the woman who longs for more of God, more of herself, more of what she knows is possible, and who is ready to stop striving her way to get there.

You will come hungry and leave with your soul satisfied. Registration is open right now at mistyhughes.com/cometothetable. I’ll have the link in the show notes. Come and find your seat at the table Now, my guest today has built her life around a question most of the church hasn’t been willing to ask out loud.

What did God actually intend when he designed intimacy? Mary Whitman Ortiz is a Christian sex educator, a certified relationship coach, founder of Limitless Intimacy, and co-host of the Sexual Wholeness Revival podcast. She has done the deep personal work, the professional training, and the global outreach, and she carries a freedom in this conversation that you will feel in every single words.

Now, a few things that you should know about Mary before we begin. She is happily married to Tim. They love jet skiing, travel, and full-blown adventures with their grandchildren. And she describes herself, and I love this, as the least likely person to be talking openly about sex.

Mary, in a conversation about the courage to come alive in places that have been quiet for such a long time, you are exactly who we need at the table today. Let’s get started

 Mary, you told me that resilience is your superpower. Before we get into what you teach, why you teach, I wanna know, is there something that you’ve had to bounce back from?

Because I have a feeling that your superpower has been birthed out of a season where you’ve had to bounce back

Mary: Boy, I’m getting a picture of a punching ball that just bounces, bounces, bounces. but thankfully, that was not a place that I stayed. I was formerly married 26 years, leaders in the church, and I identified that my husband was struggling with pornography, and it was disclosed that actually he had a problem from before we were even married.

So it had been going on for almost three by the time the marriage ended. So many things were going on. we went to see counselors, and after the whole process, I… [00:08:00] We divorced. I initiated it because I knew I could not survive that any longer, but wanna give up on life and give up on my hopes and dreams for my children, and that’s when the resiliency began

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: so thank you for sharing that and your own journey of resilience. Now, you work with couples all over the world, and you come from, church leadership. why do you think this topic that you deal with on a daily basis in your coaching and in your podcast, the topic of sex, sexuality, why do you think the church has so much trouble talking about it, addressing it?

Mary: Well, I think you almost said the word there. I was watching you. Fear. Fear is at work, for sure, and fear and shame go hand in hand. So that is something that we are always processing through. But the other thing that I have a lot of compassion for is that leaders in the church are actually individuals themselves long before they were in leadership.

And if they have not processed some of these issues for themselves, then it, it flows through them. Even if they want the very best for their congregation, if they still have an attitude, that is flowing in brokenness, then that’s part of the message that comes out, and they are resistant. and I… As I said, I have compassion because I’ve been there. But I know the joy on the other side of freedom makes the work worthwhile. I love it when leaders are curious, there are some beliefs that you have to rework to get to this place, but it is absolutely worth it.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Well, I think something I desire for the women listening to this is that joy you’re talking about on the other side. And so I, yeah, I’m excited about where our conversation will go. Now, most of those women that I’m talking about that are listening are in the midst of carpool lines, work, ministry, laundry, probably some even, uh, caretaking for their parents.

So

does this beautiful woman that is doing all the things and being all things to all people, how does she prioritize marriage, let alone sexual intimacy within marriage?

Mary: It does get bumped to the bottom of the list regularly, that is for sure. But part of it is, do I even have enough energy physically to go there, much less to separate myself emotionally from all of the places that my mind and my heart has gone. For a woman to disconnect emotionally feels, , like a great sacrifice to stop where she is in her thoughts and make a conscious choice to think something different, to choose something different.

And I don’t think it’s been mentioned that this is a struggle. when you’re dating, you’re living in this overflow of spontaneity. Everything is fun. You cannot get enough of your person. And then when you’re married and you have all the responsibilities, it does require being intentional. You have to make the shift.

And I think being able to talk about it is gonna help so much. I like finding humor in it, because otherwise we just live in frustration out of our differences. So call it whatever you want. You know, I’ve got to get out of my head right now, and I know the, the age-old cliche is a woman is…

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: It’s 10:30 at night, the couple’s in bed. The woman is running through her thoughts trying to make this transition, and she goes, “Oh, wait. Is the laundry still in the washer, or did I put it in the dryer?” She has to give her mental yes before she can give her physical or he- her emotional yes. And just knowing that there are steps, that it’s not automatic, that it’s very different for a woman than it is for a man, I find just having that little bit of education does help. Yeah. Okay, I– so I liked she has to give her mental yes. I’m thinking that mental yes has to start way before 10:30 in bed at night, doesn’t it? So what does that look like for a woman to, start the process of giving her mental yes?

Mary: Well, I love it when couples connect some during the day, even if it’s a brief text, even if it’s an emoji, even if you have your own flirting version of emojis. I’m not gonna tell anybody what they should be saying to each other. I don’t want it to be illegal. I love the teasing and the flirting and knowing that th- you can do That The more you can do that, the easier the transition is because you’ve already chosen to, to stay close, and that will definitely help you are yourself.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: That is so fun. that flirtatious thing is fun and engaging. something that you have talked about is how a strong marriage connection actually affects the anxiety level of a whole home. And so you’ve used this word connection, when you were responding to some of, my questions

I want to dive a little bit into, your definition of connection because my husband and I just did my 100th podcast episode. and we talked all about connection because that has been a word that we have explored. it’s a word that we’re still trying to figure out what that means, what that looks like for him or me,

So define that for us and explain how it reduces anxiety in the home if there’s that connection.

Mary: I think I will start a step before and introduce the idea of emotional safety. there’s no way people are going to be connected if they don’t feel safe. And safe, feeling safe emotionally means not worried that you’re gonna reject me, that you’re gonna ridicule me, that you’re gonna make fun of me, that you’re gonna dismiss me.

Anything negative. I can feel confident. I can share my ideas and you will listen. It might not be your idea. It might be that it’s something that needs to be talked about later, but I know I am safe to show up and then work from there. So if both spouses feel safe and they’re showing up, then they can take some of those risks to flirt and to reveal their hearts and their thoughts. Because what happens in the bedroom is a whole lot of revealing physically, but we need that revealing to happen emotionally even before. and connection, I don’t know if I have a singular definition. I know it’s closeness. I know it’s choosing to, step into oneness, and I think that may [00:16:00] m- be more Christian But i- we are told through the Bible that the two shall become one, and I think that’s an individual journey for the couple themselves. Because it’s not like we’re becoming just one of the spouse. It’s the two together that are blending and weaving and finding a way for their strengths and weaknesses to complement. But knowing that at the end of the day, if they chose connection and understanding over being 100% agreement, then they have chosen something that, that helps them. And the way it reduces anxiety is that you can look across the room at your spouse and you know we’re on the same team. if there’s a temporary upset, a temporary disagreement, at the end, and as our long-term goal, we are committed to one another.

So that reduces some of the anxiety. And in, in the world culture and even in dating culture, if you misstep, misspeak, then that person may be gone. creating a marriage where that fear is not dominating and controlling the shots, that’s how connection can be, a practice

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: that fear Is huge, and it’s what has happened in our world. And, when our kids actually see this happening, those across the room or the affection, what are we teaching them?

Mary: Oh, wow. so wonderful when it’s normal and natural for them to see mom and dad connect, If that feels healthy and safe and secure, then they will want to choose that for themselves.

So the more connection that mom and dad have, the more safety they create for their child to really develop.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Yeah, and ultimately, that’s the desire of our heart as parents is to really see our children develop and understand whole and happy relationships. so talking to our kids about sexuality and sexual things, I was reminded as I was preparing for this. I raised four, and I will, admit I raised my kids in the purity culture, and coming– I was pregnant at the age of twenty-one.

Coming from the background that I came out of, it seemed like the safe thing to do. I think most of them have gotten therapy because of it I, I think the purity culture gave me an out not to talk to my kids I remember the first time a friend of mine, was talking to me about talking to her teenage boys about masturbation, and the fact that she said that word, I just, I don’t know if externally she-

my, like, “We can say that word?” So all of that to say, what keeps us as parents from talking to our children about healthy sexuality?

Mary: First of all, it would be our own beliefs. If we are still, struggling with it’s taboo, and I feel shame, and it’s dirty, then it would be difficult to say anything different than that. How can you believe one thing and say something different? So that’s working against us for sure. And because those words are maybe not a part of our everyday conversation, I have heard someone suggest before you’re gonna talk to your child, just go look in a mirror in your bedroom or [00:20:00] bathroom and say penis out loud or vagina out loud so that you get comfortable being able to say that. that helps a lot. I know that you have to be at peace to help your child be at peace. And then I think we are fearful that we’ve gotta tell them everything all at once. Just get it out and run. And that is not effective. It could be detrimental. So knowing that we want bite-sized pieces of information, what they are ready for, and then you as the parent and them as the child can gradually a con- another conversation to make it as natural as it can be so it’s something that you with.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Pornography is a real issue, as you’ve shared your own story. It was my own journey in my marriage married to a husband that was addicted to pornography and

didn’t find out until after the divorce, which, explained so much. But,

 how do we talk to our kids, to help steer them away from porn, and when do we start those conversations?

Mary: I think you can start much younger than you might expect. Maybe you don’t even actually use the word porn. talking about we, we want to be looking at things that are loving and kind and show affection. And mommy and daddy hug each other. Hugging is really sweet. It’s a part of God’s gift to marriage. Beginning to instill all of the positive ideas about intimacy so they have that as the strongest guide. You- the first reference to anything is the strongest reference, and it’s the one that other things are compared to. So if you are living out that type of a healthy relationship in your home in front of your children, they will see that.

And then if you have those casual make them as casual as you can, then they will respond to that. And that’s why I put the emphasis on what is positive more than the emphasis on what is negative. we can’t ignore what’s negative, but we need to make sure we’re describing positive ways for people to interact, and just sowing seeds. Even now, I have grandchildren, the little boys That are two, we’re always telling stories. “Well, mommy and daddy love each other. Mommy and daddy did this. Mommy and daddy…” And even myself with my husband, Mer Mer and Copy went on a trip together, and we just like having fun, and we play.” And I just make it natural for them to anticipate what a loving relationship is.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: That is powerful. That is great. And, I’m… When I think of you talking about grandparenting, my husband and I are trying to do that for our grandchildren. We talk a lot about the legacy that we want to leave them with,

Mary: Yeah

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: relationships now I wanna maybe turn the corner just a little bit because we’ve touched on it a little bit, but I would like to go a little bit deeper and maybe you can share some of your journey. You came out of a 30-year marriage where the idea of sexual intimacy was highly distorted and probably you didn’t even realize the fullness of the distortion until you’re out and you can like breathe fresh air again.

and so I think, many women might be living in that, maybe have a whole, misunderstanding

of of their own sexual identity.

Mary: Yeah.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: And you talked about the joy and you radiated confidence and joy in knowing your identity. But part of that identity is who you are as a woman and a sexual being.

So I would love to hear a little bit more of Mary’s story as much as you’re willing for that journey and help us take the steps toward that freedom that you have obviously found and are helping us find.

Mary: the beginning point for my understanding that my marriage was not what I hoped it would be, wanted it to be, a headline on Yahoo News. And I think it’s really great. God uses interesting things to get our attention, and quite possibly because it was so objective, it wasn’t a message from a church, it wasn’t a message from someone I knew, I actually… it got my interest. And the, the headline was, “Why Your Sex Life is Important to Your Mother-in-Law.” And I’m like, “Sex life and mother-in-law really don’t need to be in the same sentence.” But it got my attention. I read the article, and the gist was, if your sex life is happy and full and enjoyable, then the mother-in-law would be happy that her son is enjoying being married It was really very simple and honest and honoring, and that helped me to begin to realize, oh, boy, that is not what I am experiencing. And I had to find a safe person to begin those conversations with, and it was not somebody in my church. It wasn’t even a Christian counselor because I just anticipated that they were gonna repeat all the messages that I heard before, that I needed to do more, be more, and, and be more of a good Christian, which I had been working really hard at, and that was not the answer.

So I had a older female cousin loved God but wasn’t very churchy, and we used to have conversations on the phone, like, hours long, when you had to pay for long distance. it just, the safe space to begin to share some of what I was experiencing so that there was no judgment when I talked about it and I could be very vulnerable.

I trusted her. every once in a while she would say, “Mary, I’ve got some truth for you. You need a two-by-four, and, uh, do you want me to put velvet on this two-by-four before I hit you over the head, or do you want it straight?” by that point I’m like, “Okay, you’ve given me a heads-up. Just give it to me straight.”

Because there were things I could not see. You don’t know what you don’t know, and having someone else speak into your life that you trust really helps with that journey. And it, it was step by step. I know an early Christmas when I was single, my name is Mary, but we use the word merry at Christmastime.

Of course, it’s M-E-R-R-Y. And God had prompted me, your inner merry.” I loved the play on words. And I’m like, “Oh, God, there is an

Yeah. So, um, I hear the

dormant and has been suppressed, and I know that you still want her to come alive and have joy.” And I began asking him, what does that mean? And I live in Florida, so I love nature and I get to be outside a lot, and that was a part of my own therapy, to go out and do walks and go to the beach and just [00:28:00] breathe and enjoy the

birds. Everything. And just feel my whole person come alive and allow my senses to come alive.

And not even from a sexy point of view, but just the breeze on my skin and, and music and things that had been drowned out because I was in survival mode. so to reset how I saw life, how I saw myself, how I saw how God picturing me all along, it was a journey I continued to have safe people. And then by a certain point, I was able to go in for more professional counseling and coaching, therapy, everything. I was like, “Oh, this is working. It’s painful, but I want more.” Because I, I wanted to get married again, and I knew I needed to heal a lot of things in my life so I wouldn’t repeat them. I dated for five years before I met my husband today, and thankfully he had done a lot of work on himself, too. So we came together at a pretty strong place, and that, that made a big difference.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: how would a woman who feels bound might be too strong a word, but feels, intimidated or timid sexually begin to, open up like the flower that she is created to be.

What would that process even look like?

Mary: Yeah. I, I would call it a twofold process to begin to identify some of the beliefs that may have held her back, some of the negative messages from church, from purity culture, of the shame. And then also to feed on the good that God has, and be able to read even scripture with fresh eyes and not just read it and go, “Oh, I know what that means.” But to let the Holy Spirit bring light to that so that you Can go, “Oh, these things are different. believing this, and this is something new, and I like that new part and want to be able to stretch and choose something differently.”

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Can you give me an example of something that we might, be stretched in from the word?

Mary: Oh, boy. Well, pleasure. Pleasure. so much of scripture is talking about dying to self and putting others first. And if there’s any of that carryover in sex of, “Oh, I’ve got to do anything and everything my husband says,” and denying yourself, that is not the full message of that passage because God calls us to mutual- exploration and enjoyment.

And even if you go into the New Testament in the Book of Ephesians, there’s usually a passage there, it talks about wives submitting to husbands. But no, that’s not where it starts. It says to submit to one another. So realizing that mutual respect and mutual consent and mutual honor and mutual pleasure, of that is in scripture.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: I’m so curious. How did a 40 some odd year old woman who went to get a degree in education, become a Christian, relationships or sex coach? how did that happen?

Mary: Well, you’ve sort of caught onto it that I am a free person now, freer. I would share, I would talk to my friends, and they were pressing me for [00:32:00] more. “How did you know that? How did you get there?” as I realized that people were interested in what I had, I’m like, “Well, I can share my personal testimony, and that’s wonderful, but I want to be equipped professionally to give them the whole picture.” And when I did my, coach training, I went to … a trainer who was not even a Christian, because I wanted to know what, beliefs are you encouraging people to have? I didn’t wanna just give church language to people. And that was great because I could make a point of comparison. I could have a fuller message. And I do sometimes introduce myself as the least likely person to be talking openly about sex, because it was I was… I lived in the doghouse for So many decades, and now I am maybe freer than other people are comfortable with me being. Because I know my husband and I at dinner, well, breakfast, any meal, we could just have a conversation and we… There’s no tension, so we just talk openly. Now, we don’t do it when there’s children or guests around, but, um, it makes a difference when you feel at peace within yourself.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: So that’s beautiful, and that is one thing I love. this is about mentoring, and just ch- the very presence of who you are and the place that you sit now, that speaks to women who may be where you were or somewhere along that spectrum that it’s possible. It’s possible to have that freedom and that joy and that completeness in Christ.

 This has been so fun, and I would love to, dive in more. I have a few questions just for fun that I would like to ask you, and then I always like to end our conversations with a one thing. So before I get into the questions, Mary, is there something that maybe that I haven’t brought up, a question I haven’t asked, that you feel would be really important for women, who are on this journey of, freedom and identity, especially in this area of their own sexuality?

Mary: Remember your dreams. Remember your, your hopes for marriage so that what you wanted when you said, “I do,” is still a possibility.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: That’s good. okay, are you ready? what are your top date night ideas for a couple who hasn’t had a date in a while?

Mary: Ooh. I like simple first because it’s doable, and whether that’s taking a walk or, sharing a new coffee spot. We don’t wanna s- be scared off by, “Oh, it’s got to be so big and over-the-top romantic.” It can be something that’s kind of a natural thing to do, and then it’s not that much of an adjustment.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: That’s so good, ’cause I’m thinking, “Oh, we’ve gotta plan for five hours to go on this thing.” But if it hasn’t happened in a while, the simple and comfortable, that is great. So what’s one small everyday thing a wife can do this week to increase connection with her husband?

Mary: Practice her husband’s love language

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: It’s really that important, hmm.

Mary: Oh, yes. And my husband’s number one is physical touch, which I’m sure a lot of women could relate to. And it’s not mine. It’s probably my number five. But I learned this, of course, about him. So now I make it be silly in that he might be brushing his teeth or doing something in the kitchen, and I just bump into him. and a lot of playful things. Teasing. Of course, I’ll, I’ll kiss his neck and… But it’s not the sexual touch. It is just literally touch. If we are sitting side by side at church and I put my hand on his knee, you know, he feels close. He feels love. So I look for as many ways that I can touch him as possible.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: That’s awesome. Okay. We can do this, ladies. We got… Okay, finish this sentence for me: A woman who finally gets comfortable with her sexuality will discover…

Mary: God really had a good idea.

It’s interesting, if you go back and read the creation story, and God made this, and he said it was good, and God made this, and he said it was good. But when he gets to Adam and Eve, he says it was very good because he knew the design of Adam’s body and Eve’s body and the way they would fit together and function, and the joy and the closeness and the pleasure, all of the benefits of sex.

It’s just… It gets, it gets better. is no, “I’ve arrived, and there’s nothing left for me to enjoy and, and look forward to.” It just gets better.

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Mm. That’s beautiful. I love the picture you’re painting for us all. what’s one thing couples stop doing that starts that disconnect or that drift apart?

Mary: They quit being kind.

They

Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: wow.

[00:37:38] Mary: each other for granted. They don’t say thank you. They don’t say please. They lose all their courtesy towards one another, and it certainly starts to create distance.

[00:37:50] Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Yeah. That’s something I remember in the podcast I mentioned with my husband, and we were talking about, you know, how do you know when we’re connected or what’s a sign? And he said, “It’s just those little things like, ‘Hey, honey, Thanks for making the bed. Thanks for unloading the dishwasher.'” Just those little kind remarks that you’re talking about.

Um, the best first step for a woman who wants to change things but has no clue where to start.

[00:38:23] Mary: I love looking in the mirror at who God made you and be thankful. however that process works for you, if you’re thanking God for who you made me to be and how I look and my gifts. I mean, every part of your your spirit, soul, and body is a beautiful design, and starting to anticipate, “I’m gonna learn more about myself and this wonder that God made in me.”

[00:38:51] Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Mm. Love it. So ladies, if you are not more in love with who God created you to be after hearing- Mary, exude from the fiber of who she is, the beauty of God’s creation in you, then, um, look in the mirror. Do what she’s inviting you to do. Mary, I would love for you to share, how women can get ahold of you and where to connect with you, if you have something for them to help get them started on their own journey.

Tell us all the juicy details.

[00:39:26] Mary: Yes. I have an e-book I would love to get into everybody’s hands. It’s called God’s Gift to Marriage, and I use the word gift as an acronym, and I unpack four different things that are benefits of God’s gift. and they’re very practical, but they’re very amazing and wonderful and powerful. So God’s Gift to Marriage, would love to give that away, and you can find it on my website, limitlessintimacy.com. Limitlessintimacy.com. Little bit [00:40:00] of a tongue twister. of course, I’m on Instagram and Facebook, and then my podcast, the Sexual Wholeness Revival, where I am bringing up topics every week that aren’t necessarily discussed in the church.

[00:40:17] Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: Yeah. And I was listening to a Q&A today, so even if you have questions,

Mary, and Katie Ann?

 they’ll answer your questions in some of their episodes. So Thank you for the saying yes to the journey that God has taken you on into freedom, and thank you for sharing the freedom that you’ve found so lavishly, beautifully, without shame, in all the ways.

And ladies, I will put all of Mary’s wonderful resources in the show notes, so please, look her up, glean from the wisdom and the counsel that she has for you in your own journey of, healthy intimacy in your marriage and just for yourself. So thank you, Mary

[00:41:07] Mary: You’re so welcome. It’s my pleasure

[00:41:09] Misty Hughes | Mom2Mom Mentoring: that conversation was a long time coming. And if it stirred something in you today, a longing, a grief, maybe a flicker of hope or excitement that you weren’t expecting, I want you to know it’s not by accident. That is an invitation. Mary gave us so many gifts today, but here’s the one I want you to hold onto this week.

Connection starts before the bedroom. It starts with a text in the middle of the afternoon, a bump in the kitchen, a hand on his knee at church. His love language practiced, not because it comes naturally, it probably doesn’t, but because you choose it. Small things chosen consistently become a marriage that your children can actually feel.

Now, if today’s conversation stirred something deeper, a deeper hunger, a, a thirst, and I mean that in every sense of the word, I want to tell you again about Come to the Table. Four days, a prepared table for the woman who is done settling for crumbs. If this episode woke something up in you, the retreat was made exactly for that moment, a place to meet that awakening.

Registration, it’s now open at mistyhughes.com\cometothetable. Beloved, come and find your seat. While you’re there, go grab Mary’s free e-book, God’s Gift to Marriage, at limitlessintimacy.com. It’s practical, powerful, and a beautiful place to start. Hey, I’m sure you know this, but healing doesn’t happen accidentally.

It happens because one woman decided she was worth the work, and then that woman took one small step. Today might be that step for you. Let it be. When a woman finally gets comfortable in her own skin, in her marriage, in her body, in the skin that God designed for her, she stops hiding.

And that kind of freedom, it’s contagious. So go live that because, beloved, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. Hey, I’m Misty Hughes. You’ve been listening to Mom to Mom [00:44:00] Mentoring. Now, go shine.