Ep 94: When Your Calling And Your Chaos Are In The Same Room

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Transcript

Misty: Let me ask you something before we even get started today. Have you ever felt completely undeniably called and completely undeniably stuck at the exact same time? Like, you know, God put something in you, a mission, a fire, a vision that is so clear. It almost hurts. And then you look around at your kitchen, your inbox, your to-do list that has never once been fully crossed off.

And you think, is this it? Is this what I said yes to? I was a young mom, children underfoot and a calling burning inside of my chest. I’d raise my hand in prayer and I’d say, here I am, Lord. Send me. I was ready to go to the ends of the earth for the sake. Of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I felt like I’d been benched, like God had given me a dream and then handed me a diaper bag.

I felt disqualified, rejected, and really confused. but I never could shake that feeling of a deeper calling. In that season, God began to open the eyes of my understanding. I began to imagine the nations right there in my home. Since we homeschooled, we began to learn about the nations. We had international friends and we invited them into our journey.

I was cultivating the calling. The hearts of my children as well. What I looked at. With my natural eyes as chaos was really God’s invitation to embrace my calling. The chaos of our life was really the curriculum that God had given me to us to learn about his heart. It didn’t look like anything I imagined.

I want you to hold that thought. Right there, because today’s guest lived that exact tension. She’s living it now in a way that’s going to blow your mind. Now, I don’t believe you’re here by accident. You are here because something in you is burning, still burning, even when you’re exhausted.

And today. We’re gonna talk directly to that something.

Hey there. Welcome to Mom to Mom mentoring, where you will find the wise counsel for Christian working moms that your heart is longing for. I’m Mr. Hughes and I’m here because when I was a young mom doing all the things for all the people, I couldn’t find the mentor that I. Desperately needed, so I asked God to help me become her, not because I’m perfect, but because I’m imperfect and deeply loved by a perfect God.

Today we are going to talk about what happens when you’re calling and a little bit of chaos collide. And here’s what I want you to know before we even begin. Motherhood is not about shrinking your mission somehow, some way, God. Expands it and our guest today, she is living proof. Now, before we [00:04:00] move on, I do want to invite you to a more intimate conversation in our Facebook group.

It’s easy to find because it’s who you are. Christian moms in business and ministry, faith, wisdom, and leadership. But I’m gonna have the link for that in the show notes. Yeah. Today I am so excited to introduce to you Dr. Charity Campbell Capella. She is a woman who has lived her calling on six continents, spoken into the lives of leaders across 30 countries, and somehow manage to do it all while navigating the most personal chaos you can imagine.

Dr. Charity holds a doctorate in management. She has worked with US embassies across China, Vietnam, and Iraq, and is one of the sharpest cultural intelligent experts I have ever had the privilege of sitting with. But here’s what I love most about Dr. Charity. She’s real, she is honest, and she is in the middle.

Of her very own season. She’s a wife to a man from Zambia whom she met in China. You heard that correctly. And she is now a mama raising a global leader and the founder of International Mamas and Mentors virtual community Today she’s gonna talk to you, mama to mama about what happens when your chaos and your calling collide, and how God navigates your heart through that collision.

 We are so excited, to have you here today. let’s start, at your turning point. you were living life as a solo female traveler, leading leaders, across the nations teaching, consulting, and then you became a wife and then a mom.

So I wanna know, first and foremost about the internal shifts that happened during that season of the external transitions that were going on.

[00:06:40] Dr. Charity: Oh my goodness. First, let me just say thank you so much for having me. I’m so grateful to be here and blessings to your audience. Thank you all for having me here today.

 I when you said the full topic in the context, I was like, okay, Jesus is snitching on me right now because he is he’s trying to set me up for the Okie-doke. With this whole, what happens when your calling and chaos collided? I’m like. Okay, this. he’s speaking

[00:07:10] Misty: to you.

[00:07:10] Dr. Charity: You’re right. I was living my life like it was golden Loving just what the season that I was in. teaching university, l living a very affordable life in China. it was just like everything was so wonderful.

Minus the fact that I wasn’t married, in my twenties. realizing that when I graduated with my doctorate, it’s time to do something different.

 I felt like God was releasing me to explore his world, he was trying to get me to understand about the global God.

And then in my thirties when it wasn’t looking like I’m ,gonna be a wife and a mom, I was really bugging out. I was like, okay, Lord. I know I heard you, you said in my [00:08:00] thirties It is not happening yet. So my last year in China, the Lord sent my husband my way I had given up on marriage at that time.

 ended up meeting my husband when I was not, expecting him to come whatsoever.

 within a few months we were married and then I found myself pregnant, all at the age of 37, we were living in Namibia I love it over there. They were not calling it a geriatric pregnancy. There was no such thing.

Misty. There was no geriatric pregnancy. There was just a healthy woman carrying her child. so fast forward to July of 2023 when I was about 38 weeks pregnant. I I wanted, my first child. in my mom’s presence, my husband hadn’t had his visa yet, I had to leave him there.

Come here. Chaos chaos. Definitely started. I have a heart for the nations I love. Working with global leaders, but in this season of my life, my calling is to be a mom to a rising global leader and teach him what love looks like. it has been chaotic like for years, but officially my husband will be here, before the end of the month. We got the visa I’ve not seen my husband since, July 12th, 2023.

 our son has never met his father in person. Just all FaceTime. So chaos and calling for sure. When you know you’re calling, you won’t Move because of chaos, you’ll learn to sit and hear the voice of the Lord. Even when you wanna go, I have my son, I’m making decisions with our children in mind.

[00:09:49] Misty: there was such a powerful sense of surety about what your role is in this season.

 I’m raising a global leader now that’s my calling. As a young mom with children, I remember feeling like I am called to the nations. here I am Lord, send me. And I feel like the Lord literally sat me down and showed me the nation’s right there in my home.

Yeah. And just here’s who I want you to be faithful to right now, and you’re faithful to this calling right now. How did it happen for you? how did you let go of one and step into the other? was that hard?

 Was it natural?

[00:10:46] Dr. Charity: no.

[00:10:47] Misty: Okay.

[00:10:49] Dr. Charity: It’s so unnatural. I laughed because you said, how did you let go? And I’m like, I don’t think I have.

[00:10:56] Misty: Okay.

I

[00:10:56] Dr. Charity: think if I’m being totally, I don’t think I have, because there are so many times when I sit and I’m just like, Lord, if I could just pick my child, pack my stuff up, pack his stuff up, tell my husband we’re going to this country, we’re gonna be over there, meet me over there, that’s what we’re gonna do, but I don’t want to be outside of the will of God.

Mm-hmm. I can honestly say I don’t think that I have let that go because it’s such a strong desire and I have found myself questioning whether or not. My resistance to letting it go is a sign that it’s a soul tie or a stronghold. is my desire, my will, the thing that I truly wanna do?

God, is it what you gave me to do? And that’s why it’s I can’t shake it or let it go. Even though in this season I’m not acting on it. I do firmly believe in seasons. it could be that right now it’s just a season for me to sit and mm-hmm. to sit and sew [00:12:00] into my child, sit and sew into, the, even the children in the community instead of going and sowing.

 And the thing too is that I am currently in the place where I grew up as a child, and it is, it’s very small there was a reason why I left this place. Yet here God has me back. Okay. Hell hostage. He has me back in the area. and it’s for ministry purposes, and I promise you I fight it often. I’m like, Lord, what is the lesson? Mm. What is the purpose? Because what I don’t wanna do is keep failing the test.

And I’ve heard people say, no, you’ve passed the test because you’re still here and you’re serving. passing the test because I’m not physically acting out, or rebelling when I know in my heart that I still have that resistance,

They’re two different things. So in terms of letting it go, I can honestly say I have not, I’ve not letting it go. ’cause for me, letting go feels like giving up. And instead of giving up what I have done, Misty is I’ve given in.

 the season of, marriage, motherhood, and ministry. those are the things that I believe needs to be watered right now in this season of my life. That’s where God has me planted so that I can water it and see the fruit, and the harvest season.

[00:13:28] Misty: When I was a young mom, I, I heard somebody say, give it 20 years. it takes a while for a tree to grow and the fruit to come forth, and we wanna see the fruit next year. and then I remember 20 years later, looking back and being amazed at what God had done even in that 20 years, there’s still opportunity, there’s still places and spaces that he wants you to be in.

 if you think about raising a global leader which I love that I, there was a verse in Isaiah, and I don’t know the address of it, but I used to tell my kids this all the time. Isaiah says, the children the Lord has given me are for signs and wonders in the nations.

And I would always tell my kids that we are for signs and wonders in the nations. Okay. Just so y’all know.

[00:14:28] Dr. Charity: Look, you see I’m, you see me looking it up. ’cause I’m like using that

[00:14:32] Misty: daily.

[00:14:33] Dr. Charity: that’s got to be the model for my children.

[00:14:35] Misty: so with that,

What do you imagine it looks like to raise a global leader

[00:14:45] Dr. Charity: Oh, I love that you asked that question because it’s something that I have been. So I’ve talked to my husband about this Isaiah eight and 18, by the way. Just found it.

It says, behold I and the children whom the Lord have given me are for signs and for wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts, which dwelled in Mount Zion.

I love that it’s not omitting the parent it’s including the mama. I and the children whom the Lord have given me. Woo Lord have mercy. That

 That is such a confirmation to the question. I’ve always talked to my husband about homeschooling. I said, I don’t know what it looks like. I don’t know what it’s gonna look like I said, but just because I know the the international call that God has for my husband, I know the call that God has on my life as well. all throughout the pregnancy I said, I don’t wanna be pulling our kids out for school when we have to, go to this state or this country or whatever for an engagement because I want our family to travel together. I want them to travel with us. just think about the type [00:16:00] of curriculum we could have teaching the children about the world as they are visiting the world, as they’re visiting other cultures, instead of just reading about it in a book.

They’re literally living it, teaching them how to be global citizens.

Teaching them how to, understand who the global God is, how he created the entire world, and for them to not be limited in their thinking, even starting at a very young age. And so that, that has always been something that even before I got married, I was thinking about, How can I continue legacy of cultural intelligence?

that’s how I’ve always envisioned it when I think of the world that God truly intended for us to live in. The one that, is completely diverse, yet so beautiful in his eyes.

You know that, and I think of raising little humans who would understand that, Who would be able to function in a world like that.

[00:17:01] Misty: the question I keep thinking of is, can I come and be your nanny?

it sounds like, the hope and dream I had when raising my kids, I didn’t think so much about it globally, but even in our own country, I want my kids to think beyond this little environment. And so I always made sure we had the ability to travel. in 2018, we all went. To Israel for three weeks I’ve traveled to, the Dominican Republic with a couple of them have lived in India extensively.

I’m thankful that, that love and desire for the nations, for the different cultures we’re experiencing, not just as a tourist, but to really experience the culture that God has put that in my kids. So, so girl, you sing my song and I am believing it and dreaming it, and I, I know that that’s possible.

What you envision that is totally possible. And that is that, that just excites me. So, so thank you for sharing that. I hope that it’s given some women that are listening to this a, a vision for something bigger, God-sized dream, the possibility that it is possible with God. All things are possible.

And if there are dreams or visions or passions in your heart, it’s not about laying them down. It might be, like you say, it might be like I’m watching and waiting in this season, but it doesn’t mean that My, my vision and my desires are wrong or bad It means God’s put them in there, they’re burning in my soul and he’s gonna bring them about and it’s gonna be good.

 so thank you for that inspiration and the vision, sharing a vision that is beyond just the small.

So let’s talk about that. What does that look like for your life right now? You have been, since 2023, your husband has been in a different country, a different nation, and that partnership in parenting. How have you nurtured your own wellbeing in this season?

[00:19:31] Dr. Charity: I think it’s been both good and bad.

I will say that. In terms of community, I thank God for that. He’s blessed me with community even, with sisterhood that.

And then, my family, I thank God they’ve been a very strong rock and fortress for me in this season. like many moms I did I put on a lot of weight after giving birth. My pregnancy was very, it was good.

 [00:20:00] Stress and all of the issues with being away from my husband. And then being in a location that I really didn’t wanna be in. I just wanted to be near my family, but I didn’t wanna be in this area, this little town. Okay. I needed to be somewhere else.

 all of it, bottling it up, having it in there. It just, it began to stress me out so much. And so I would eat, I stopped exercising. I haven’t had any breakdowns by the grace of God, I have been on the tip. Of a breakdown, I’m telling you. so emotionally I feel like it’s been good and stable

I could have been complaining over the past two and a half years. God, why am I not here with my husband’s not here with me. I’m not where he is. I’m stuck here.

But I’m not built that way. I don’t even like being around people who, , they’re always negative. I can’t take it. It, I’m allergic to it. I don’t like it. start itching and scratching. I don’t like it. Because if I’m not gonna impact you positively.

Then at some point you’re going to impact me negatively. So I can say that focusing on trying to keep it together psychologically has been good, but I failed at it physically. And this was something that my husband and I, had a conversation about I was like,

 I have gained weight since, since we were together. I said, so we have changed. he said, I’m not worried about that. He said, yes, we have both changed, but one thing that has not changed is my heart for you.

 And I was like, this is why I chose you.

But if I could deal with that hard season in my life and allowing God to help me psychologically he has to help me through the next season and help me get it back together physically.

[00:21:51] Misty: I don’t know about you, but I, I feel like I can only focus on one area at a time.

 I do my planning. I’m like, oh, I’m gonna do this and my finances, I’m gonna do this, and my spirituality, I’m gonna do this and my physical, and it’s just not happening. Uhuh, Uhuh not happening.

[00:22:13] Dr. Charity: No. And I would rather keep my, I would rather keep my sanity and have extra pounds than to be walking around having a wonderful body, but a jacked up spirit.

Yeah. You know, I just, let me focus on one thing, keeping this, together, I, I’m glad you said that. Thank you.

[00:22:35] Misty: For. Three years. I said, okay, I’m gonna, I’m gonna start working out this year and it takes me a while to catch up with what I think I need to be doing.

I have learned to give myself grace and to give others grace.

[00:22:52] Dr. Charity: Yeah. Yeah. You know, I’m glad you mentioned showing grace to yourself. ’cause for some reason it’s easier for me to show Grace to others.

Than it is to myself. in this season,, I’ve had to learn. Okay. I don’t even have enough grace to give myself, so I have to rely on the scripture where the Lord says, my grace is sufficient for thee. My grace is sufficient for you.

That’s, I’m like, okay, I don’t have the grace for myself, but God has grace for me. since he has grace for me, when people make little sly comments about, the weight gain and things like that, I have to remember that. But for the grace of God, I could be mentally ill.

 I could be severely jacked up. So listen mama. When you hear those comments and things like that. Remember that it is not the grace of people that you need.

It is the grace of God that will sustain you. This is just a season. The season that you’re dealing with and going through, it’s your season. It’s not theirs.

Even if it was just in, concern, they’re just, well, I’m just concerned, but I didn’t ask you to be concerned. Right now [00:24:00] you’re concerned about the wrong thing. You need to be concerned about my soul and my spirit. Not the number one, the scale. And so that’s just the mindset you have to have.

Especially as women once you hit a certain age. Now once you cross over the threshold of 40, that weight is a bit different.

[00:24:17] Misty: Yeah.

[00:24:18] Dr. Charity: Mey.

[00:24:19] Misty: Okay, so here’s my new thing. We’re talking about weight. So like for five years, I’ve been trying to lose 10 or 15 pounds by we eat out and we travel and so the scale goes up like a pound at a time. And I’m now, I’m working out six days a week, and I feel better than I’ve probably felt in my whole life, But the scale keeps going up a pound at a time. And so just recently, I’ve decided, you know what? I am not a size six and I am going to embrace this little hormone belly that I have, instead of laboring and holding myself to a standard, I’m like, this is me.

This is who I am, and I want to embrace the reality of who I am right now in this season. I can still dress cute. I don’t have to dress like I’m waiting to lose that 10 pounds. there’s my confession. I am not gonna labor and strive in that space anymore. I’m going to enjoy where I’m at. And trust the Lord and buy cute clothes for the me now.

[00:25:44] Dr. Charity: I love it. And then, then if, if it changes and you no longer can fit those and you go back down, He let you buy those clothes in a season so that you can give them to someone else.

[00:25:57] Misty: Amen.

[00:25:57] Dr. Charity: We gotta think of it that way.

[00:25:59] Misty: I know, right? So anyway we just, we covered it all here today, Dr. Charity. And Jesus is in it all,

 how can. Women get a hold of you, especially, about what it means to raise a global leader

[00:26:15] Dr. Charity: you can email me at it’s info IF o@mamasandmentors.com. reach out to me from there and say, Hey, I heard you on, Misty’s Mom to Mom podcast and. I’m interested in hearing more about this, or I wanna share my story or, I have a little global leader that I also want to raise

 Okay. Did you feel that? Because I felt every word of this conversation, Dr. Charity came in today and gave us something so real. So honest and so deeply needed. She reminded you that letting go doesn’t always mean releasing. Sometimes it looks like giving in. Giving in to the season that God has you in.

[00:27:07] Misty: Giving in to the ministry that’s right in front of you, giving into the reality that maybe. Just maybe the calling didn’t get smaller, it just got closer to home. I would like to invite you to just sit and marinate in that this week, the season you’re in right now, it’s not a detour. It is the destination to becoming.

And if you have that stirring something in your gut, a knowing of the calling, uncertainty about what it means or how to even step into that In this season, you’re in that feeling of, I know something has to change. I just don’t know how. I’m not even sure what it [00:28:00] is. Well, I want to invite you into.

That’s something I’m opening the doors to my becoming cohort. It’s a 12 week group coaching experience for ambitious Christian moms who are ready to stop living from their to-do list and start living from their God given identity. We’re going to use my rhythms of life framework, discover, define, develop, and display to refine the shine that God has created you for now, this is not another productivity program.

This is permission to show a whole to rest without guilt, and to finally feel the peace of knowing. That who you are, where you are and what you are doing is essentially good. Head to mom to mom mentoring.com/rhythm to get on the wait list. The link for that is in the show notes. And oh mama, you are going to want to get on the wait list because there are some sweet deals for those of you who register early now.

If you would like more of Dr. Charity, there’s two ways. First, reach out to her at info@mamasandmentors.com. Tell her Misty sent you and second. Next week we’re extending our conversation with Dr. Charity because something fantastically fun happened in our conversation together, we started talking. About goats now before you think I’ve completely lost it.

Stay with me. Because what came out of that conversation was one of the most unexpected spirit breathed revelations that we experienced together, and we want to share it with you. Something straight from the Song of Solomon that is going to completely change the way you see the kids you’re raising. The people you’re mentoring and honestly maybe even yourself.

 so you know goats right? they eat anything. They’re stubborn. They ram their heads into things that could potentially hurt them, and the Lord told that woman in the Bible tend to your goats. Okay, part two drops on Thursday and I’m telling you, you don’t wanna miss it.

Subscribe right now so you don’t trust me on this one. And friend, please take a moment to share this episode with another mom friend who is right there. Chaos and yearning to fulfill the calling. Maybe even afraid to admit that she has a calling.

This 12 week cohort that I am opening up soon will be that space for you to come with your calling to hear from heaven to discover the beauty of this journey. Of becoming the best version of yourself, so be sure to get on the wait list. There is a very limited number of spots open. Until next time, I’m Misty Hughes.

This is Mom to Mom mentoring, and you are seen. You are called, and you are not alone in this season.

And remember, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. So go shine.